I'm looking to meet new friends. My family and friends mean the world to me, my pets are the balls, and I love horses, there is nothing better than going to the barn after a really bad day and having my horse just make it better when he gets excited to see me. I love music (mostly rock, but I listen to a little bit of everything!), video games (I'll kick ya ass at Soul Calibur) and my best friend says I'm one of the most well read individuals she's ever met, I love Halloween and horror movies (even though I'm a big big wimp and they scare the sh*t out of me!) I'm also a rather sarcastic person, and it would be nice if you're somebody who is like that and can actually take a joke. I don't take anybody's crap, it's not necessary and I'm all set with the drama. Anything else you want to know, just ask! Randal Graves: Why haven't you f***ed Myra yet?Elias: Well, we can't because of Pillow Pants.Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll who lives in her p***y.[Randal stares]Elias: Pillow Pants is her p***y troll?[scoffs]Elias: Duh. You know how every girl's parents put a p***y troll in them when the girls are young, to keep them from having premarital sex?Randal Graves: ...Sure.Elias: Well Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says if I put my... thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So, I gotta wait until Pillow Pants gets peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.Randal Graves: [floored] And Myra told you this?Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff Randal. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.Randal Graves: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?Elias: We would have already if it wasn't for Listerfiend.Randal Graves: [beat] Listerfiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?Elias: [shakes head] Women