Guy walks into a bar and tells the female bartender,"give me a gin and tonic". The bartender then puts an apple on the bar and the guy takes a bite."mmm ... this tastes like gin", the bartender says"turn it". The guy turns it and takes a bite."mmm ... this tastes like tonic" > then sets the apple down and asks for a screwdriver. The bartender puts down another apple on the bar and the guy takes a bite."mmm ... this tastes like Vodka", the bartender says"turn it". The guy turns it and takes a bite"yep ... tastes like orange juice" > then sets the apple down and asks"what else have you got"? The bartender asks"what do you want"? The guy says"got any pussy"? The bartender puts another apple on the bar and the guy picks it up and takes a bite. The guy starts to spit it out and says"This tastes like shit"! The bartender says ..."turn it around".
Joke of the DAY The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semi-finalists, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Arkansas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word a come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was" Timbuktu." First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said...Slowly across the desert sand Trekked a lonely caravan, Men on camels, two by two, Destination-Timbuktu. The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited...Me and Tim a huntin' went, Met three whores in a pop up tent. They was three, and we was two, So I bucked one, and Timbuktu. The redneck won, hands down
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