Well I don't know what to say about myself really... But I bet I'll figure it out! I'm 25. I own my own home (long story) I live here with my dog Molly she's 2.

When I was a kid I was a tomboy without a doubt. My daddy was a huge part of my life back in those days. He took my sis and myself hiking and fishing and we'd go sailing. All sorts of stuff. I had a great childhood.

I have the best family I truly believe I am blessed by God. There's Dad, Mom, Myself, and my sister Megs. We're a really tight knit, bonded family. I don't know what I would do without them.

I played baseball from like 6 years old, T-ball league, until I played shortstop in high school around 9 years later. I played Varsity and I started on a high school boys baseball team when I was 13 and 14 years old. I'm very proud of that. I was said to be a child prodigy... I just liked doing as well as boys that were bigger and older then me. I may not look like it... But I'm a fighter. And I really fought hard when I played baseball. I still fight hard. There were people that chased after me to play women's fast pitch softball and I would have been an Olympic hopeful. But I wanted to keep playing baseball against men as long as I could. Softball with a girl is one thing. But hardball with a man is a lot more fun... Even if it is a little scarier and somewhat more dangerous. It was my goal to be the first woman to play in the major leagues. And for a time in my life that dream was not completely out of my reach.

I can forever say I retired from baseball a champion! "Huskies Rock Home"

*sniff* *memories*

We won league championship my last season! Such a great time in my life.

Baseball is the whole reason why I like to play with boys so much!
Forget being a cheerleader... I was a player on the team.

But there are a few of you in here that know I really love to play with girls too.

I actually made out with a cheerleader once when I was 14 years old. And the best part was... I was in my baseball uniform and she was in her cheerleader outfit and it was after a game under the bleachers. great memory. I was still wearing my spikes the game had just ended. It was so hot... we just kinda went for it. Some people saw us and didn't know it was me (they assumed I was one of the guy players) till they saw my #7 on my uniform. That was my first and only sports scandal. *lol* I was the golden girl before that day. But it was worth it. We had to deal with a lot of rumors though... I was so marked a lesbian... That label would prove very hard for me to elude.
Hey at least the cheerleader wasn't married! But the best part about it was She and I hung out all that year together. She actually was my first girlfriend.

Her name was Stephanie she was 16 and she was the best looking of all the cheerleaders in our school... *giggle* Most of the guys on the team wanted Stephanie but their female shortstop got to make out with her. I had a knack for things! I still kinda do.

Anyway...

I graduated high school pretty early (when I was 14) and I got a job modeling in New York. (another long story) I didn't like New York much really when I was 14. I was able to work out of Los Angeles fairly regular soon after we signed my first contract. (thank goodness) I did a little bit of everything, Cover's a lot at first, (especially the first season) print, parts modeling, runway fashion (when I was 14 through 17), catalogs, I got some high rent billboard ads that ran for a while overseas. I did really well when I was younger thank goodness.

My mother helped me get my first test shoot after a guy saw me playing baseball and gave her his card. That got her wheels turning and she really started thinking about making it work. She was a model when she met my dad and she wanted me to have the experience if i desired it. I guess she knew the right people. I was a tomboy at heart... " But I still like to look pretty for the fun of it..." That's what I would always say to everyone.... And I loved being with my mom when we we're on the go. She keeps me focused and calm and in the right mindset. Especially out in the world.

But I'm a daddies girl at home. He makes the whole family focus on one another and he's a real homebody. He likes road trips like me. Mom likes Airplanes and 5 star hotels. But within that there is a real balance between mom and dad because they both still spend time together doing what the other one wants to do. I really like watching that. My father adores my mother. And my mother still gets nervous if she's going to see him for the first time after they've been apart for a little while.

Mom stayed with me every step of the way for 7 years and when I was 20... I met a man and fell in love... He meant everything to me. It was so effortless falling in love with him. I turned around...*pause* and I was ready to start my life with him.

Long story short... shortly after meeting him... I invoked an option from my contract that had 5 more years left on it. (My folks made sure I had an excellent attorney when I was a teen). I was very fortunate and well taken care of. Thank God.

I wanted to get married and have kids and raise a family. (Unheard of in that business to want to opt out of a sweetheart long term contract like I had) But I was allowed to option out and I paid no penalty financially. And I walked away... after doing really well for myself I might add. Pretty much the end of that part of my story.

I know what your going to say "I must have been crazy". I was... Crazy in love. But really... I was really proud of myself. I still am. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

I always had the option to model and have a family but I just wanted the family. Modeling was just what it was. It never really made me very happy. Most girls die for it... But I was lucky I started when I was 14 when all I really wanted to do was hit a curveball to the opposite field. Heck thats all I really want to do right now. It's put's things in a calmer perspective for me thinking of my life in terms of baseball.

If you asked me now I'd say... It was a great idea for me to quit modeling.... But I should have never quit baseball.

Everyone told me I was never going to be big enough to go much further in baseball. Funny... I wasn't really big enough to be a model either when I got closer to my 20's... But I was always working. I could have gone farther in baseball as well. I feel pretty certain of that.

I have to admit I'm a very sensitive person... It's a big part of all the things inside me that make me who I am as a person. I want what feels right to me. I've always been able to just do what I wanted to do if it felt right to me. Not a lot of people get that luxury. And I feel grateful that I can live that way.

I didn't want to go to college either. I just wanted to be a good mother, and a good wife, and a *ahem* Lady of the evening in my husbands bed... Especially the Lady of the evening part! *giggle*
Focus on my family. Help people. Use what I have been blessed with to help bring about a better world for everyone. Until the day I die!

Hopefully at the age of 133. If all my friends were at my funeral and all they had to say about me was .... "She was a really good person. She had a lot of empathy for others. She and her husband raised some very fine children that grew up to be extremely honorable and successful people." That would be a great life for me. That would feel good to me.

Pretty simple plan keep your eye on the prize....

So long story short I just spent the last 5 years doing nothing but taking care of my man and his life (and my own life as well) I ate right, kept in shape, went out had a lot of fun... Reveled in my 20's a little... spent some money... I tried to let my hair down a little because I knew once I started having children I wasn't going to be able to have that kind of lifestyle as much anymore if at all. I did a lot of good things to help prepare our future.

I EVEN introduced my fiancee to a man that would invest a bunch of money into the love of my life's life... My Fiancee.... Uh... XXX-Fiancee *shrugs* That freaking guy is so forever lucky he met me. Anyway... I was having a good life. It felt like it most of the time. I was getting laid all the freaking time *giggle* And that always feels good.
But you can't let it cloud your insight! Remember that!

I Kept up playing baseball and took up pool playing as well which is quickly becoming my favorite sport. It's another sport I can play well against men and I still love beating guys at their own games thats for sure. I just really love to compete.

I worked on a myriad of projects and had a lot of successes and so forth. But I was basically free to do what I want any old time if ya know what I mean.? I don't usually say I was a kept woman but I was... In a way. (thats a long story too)

I was just a month away from my wedding... And he really hurt me and it all died inside of me painfully and thoroughly. I'll never get it back

The plan all along was after a year of travel and a little work... we'd have our first child. I had already been with him for almost 6 years. What we had by that time felt like all I had ever known. It still feels that way. Because it really is all I have ever known.

BUT... Shit Happens!!!

Now.. (another very long story) I am now single. I no longer am engaged to be married and I'm starting my life over again kinda. I still have a lot of stuff going on. Just a huge part of my life is gone now forever. That was a lil over 4 months ago now so for all intent's and purposes your all caught up if you actually read this far. *quick wink*

So if thats the quick over view of my life in a nutshell?
Maybe thats been my problem all along?... *pause* "My life is in a nutshell!"

I came to this Fubar place to find a few nice friends to chat online with... If possible . Just a few fu-experiences to go please, with a little extra kindness on the side. I've had a really hard year already. *warm smile*