I'm shallow, I'm vain, I'm rich, I'm smart, I'm good looking, I'm successful, and I'm everything you want to be. You're too skinny, you're ugly, you have bad skin, your hair looks like shit, those clothes don't fit you, your makeup makes you look like a whore, your job sucks, you have no style, your cuticles are disgusting, your skin is dry, your mind is numb, you need to get your eyebrows waxed, your teeth are yellow, your fingernails are dirty, your best friend is the bottom of a bottle or the edge of a pipe, you thrive on meaningless sex, those sunglasses make it more appearant that you're a cocaine addict, your socks are worn and torn, you don't shower often enough, you have bags under your eyes, you eat your feelings, you're poor, you're foundation is too dark for your complexion, your lips are dry, your mascera is running, you need to shave, you're flat chested, you don't have any muscle, you have cankles, your knees are knobby, your thighs are being invaded by cellulite, you have too many scars, your ass looks like shit in those jeans, you're ill-kempt, your proportions are uneven, your hairline is receeding, you walk bow-legged, you walk duck-footed, you slouch, you don't know how to put eyeshadow on, nor do you know how to use a curling iron, you are gangley, you're shoulders are too broad, you're shoulders aren't broad enough, you need a face lift, you've had too many face lifts, you're facial features are strange, your skull is mishapen, your ribs stick out, you can't find your ribs, you stuff your bra, you don't wear a bra, your piercing doesn't fit you, your ears are too big, you pick at your scabs, your tooth is chipped, you have braces, you need braces, you can't spell, you have poor grammar, you think you're a genius, you eat too much fast food, you have hobbit feet, you got a tattoo to be cool, you have too many tattoos, you smoke too much, you need to take up smoking, you're too lazy, you have a stick up your ass, you're too straightxedge, you're not straightxedge enough, you have poor judgement, you're too nice, you're a bitch, you're too fake, you're not fake enough, you have no motivation, your taste in music sucks, that belt doesn't make you a punk, that skirt makes you look like a slut, that top makes you look like more of a slut, and those slacks don't make your dick look bigger. Long story short, I'm probably not interested. Eyebrow Wax: $25.00 Hair cut/color: $125.00 Pedicure/manicure: $90.00 Brazilian Wax: $80.00 Chemical Peel: $160.00 Botox: $250.00 Butt Lift: $1000.00 Breast enlargement: $6000.00 Laser Hair Removal: $1600.00 Laser teeth whitening: $1200.00 Facial Resufacing: $1100.00 Liposuction: $5000.00 Face Lift: $1250.00 Rhinoplasty: $1199.00 Looking beautiful: Priceless.