Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep sleep.
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He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph." Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"
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St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back: as a chicken."
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Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
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A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, eh? How's your first day here?"
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"Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"
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"You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
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"Never," said Ralph. "Well, just relax and let it happen." Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
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As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting the bed!"
