100 things every man needs to know

I had a crazy uncle that was on his death bed along time ago. He said boy there’s a 100 things a man needs to know in live to survive. And here's 39 of them.

A virgin don't never drive a z28
Never bet the ranch on your prostate
If its got an Adams apple it prolly a man
Never trust a gay gypsy with the palm of your hand
She didn't accidentally get good in bed
You cant join the church if your already dead
A work uniform ain't totally nude
brim and bass ain't seafood
When there's guns in the house one better be your
Don't be naked next to any fishing lures
If she's selling girl scout cookies she's prolly to young
If u say I do then you better be the ugly one
Don't ever let a bald man barrow your comb
Never play strip poker in a nursing home
Don't blame your pallbearers if they don't show ,
if your getting buried during the super bowl
Let people barrow money and they'll leave u alone
Never fry bacon without a shirt on
Never spray water on a hornets nest
A woman rarely aces the drivers test
The sign prolly really don't mean massage
never threaten anybody in camouflage
Say you love her till she lays down the butcher knife
Never put the moves on the bosses wife
she's messing around on you if your briefs don't fit
Never trust a hitchhiker to baby sit
Cosmo is never in a happy home
You can't cut a deal with a kidney stone
A politician ain't got no hmo
Washing her hair means she don't wanna go
Don't ridicule a biker about he's tattoo
If you been married 9 times hell maybe it's you
Doom ain't the same as donkey Kong
If he's wearing high heels you prolly raised him wrong
The clinic ain't the best place to pick up dates
Don't rent a room from a man named Bates
A tank tops never worn by a billionaire
Stevie ray Vaughn missed a note here and there
How many get to heaven no one knows
But hell's gonna be assholes and elbows


And then he and then he died, crazy old bastard rolled over and died. Never did tell me what the other 61 things were. So if any body out there know , let me know.