Vampire Rave I am Renee, I am about to be twenty on May 24 and I am looking forward to it. I was once scared to grow older because when you start to age it seems that life is telling you that there is no reason to continue trying you will get chubby, start to sag in a few places, and loss a few things that once where so important to you. (Such as you sexual drive.) My mother died on May 15, 2006 and my world fell apart, she was the most important person in my life. Now the pain has dulled and other things have came into my life that have in some way have filled my heart. I still love her but not more than life anymore. I had a baby girl on December 7, 2006 and she changed my world. Well she changed it way before her birth but she has made me respect life and everything that is in it. I got married to a wonderful man on October 20, 2006 and he changed my world. I used to have a hard time with trust because when I was younger I fell in love with a sweet woman and she broke my heart, she cheated on me with one of our friends. So I had a hard time caring for anyone. He gave me time to step up and choose to start are relationship. He never forced me but gave me the chance to let my heart lead me and it did. 2006 had ups and downs yet on the Rave I lost what I was looking for. I have written all this simply because that is what was sitting on my heart and needed to be released. I am not interested in spell checking this because honestly it is a real big part of me, I suck at grammar and spelling. (Plain and simple). Honestly I am not sure what you want to know... My likes range from Classic to Down Right Nasty. The people in my life that mean the most to me are My Daughter, My Husband and my mother (deceased). I enjoy the colors black and red and love skittles. I enjoy a good song by Guns N Roses or a slow song by Akon. I am a supporter of Animal Rights. I believe that you have the right to make choices if it be a bagel in the morning or an abortion in the afternoon, those are you choices not mine. You have the right to do anything that you want you are your own person and no one should control you life. I believe that everyone should be equal, blacks, whites, Mexicans, gays, straights, and transsexuals. I believe in love and that no matter you should be allowed to marry whom you wish to. I think that people should sometimes stop and think before they speak. I hate these things with a passion, when someone stamps my portfolio, when someone is doing their job if it is on the rave or off you should respect them. Faggot that word should be erased from the face of this earth; people who use this word show that they have no brains in their head and can not come up with a good way to insult people. I hate when people message me and ask stupid questions that if they had read my profile they would have been able to find. I hate when people message me with “sup dude”, at least type in proper English. I just simply am not sure anymore what to make my profile into. I hope that what you have read is sufficient, because it is what came from me and no other, it is the truth and nothing more than that. Not some glam story to make you want to read it, but simply the truth about me and what I feel and believe. I don’t care about a rating, I don’t care that you dislike me, I don’t care that you think that I am slow or illiterate for I am me and no other. I love the scent, the feel, the taste, the way she smiles, the way she flirts, and the way she moans.What makes you so special that even the strongest of warriors fall weak on their knees and beg to be with in the folds of a your embrace? Is it love that makes me stutter like a fool or is it the simple presence that you command when you are by my side? Are you an angel or a devil and when O when shall I be released from the slow torture that is always present? I have come to the conclusion that no matter what battle I face and no matter what stands in my way I will conquer it in your name and be home in time to bow and kiss your feet. For you are woman and mighty is she.My Writing I am a freak, a nymphomaniac, an abomination of sorts. A body that yarns with need and never quit at rest. A dream of a phallus and a throbbing pearl and an unquenchable thirst for the sweet release. No longer will I touch myself in a way to make a goddess blush to quench my undesirable thirst in a matter of my lust. My thoughts are always occupied by this dark shadow never to see past into a true enlightenment. As steady throb always lurks to raise its head when you draw near. A slick wetness always present even in the driest of situations. I wish to be absolved of my dark cloak and adorn a simmer to match the sun, to no longer long for a touch of figure tips. To be slick only when the time bids and to stop thinking of these thoughts and be more than this has made me. A stuttering fool, a butt of jokes, and a thorn upon the steam of a rose. I am a freak, a nymphomaniac, an abomination of sorts, for I am a mess.I dream of freedom for these chains to be absolved of this curse to long no more to be whole. I wish to be more, more than what I am, more then a throb or a moan, more then a blush in the shadows. I wish for release of this silver chain to stand with wrists and ankles unbound. To stroke and stimulate a pearl that should remain at hidden. To be no more the slave to this desire.A dream I have at the peak of night of my king arousing my queen to rule with might over the unruly peasants. To make them cry in surrender or of the toll they must pay. To spend their coin in exclamation of what has been, and what to come.For I am a slave to passion and a slave to release.I have wished upon the white rose a prayer of virtue, a prayer of solace. I have conquered my affliction only to be afflicted with another. The affliction of remorse, for I miss my throbs, my cries, my blushes in the shadows. I miss your kiss, your stroke, your coin of release. I weep tears of sadness for I am without what makes me, me! I am a Freak, a Nymphomaniac, and I am the abomination. I am the thorn, the throbs, the cries, and the blushes. I am the throbbing pearl, the ripe fruit, and I am yours.My Inner thoughts... I will tell you what I believe, this is my ideas and they are open to be changed. Love-is an emotion that can be wonderful and can be death. Love is something that you will experience as many times as you allow yourself to.Hate-is worthless, it takes time away from you to be mad and disliking to another. Pain- is common and is worthless; it is something that you have some control over. You choose to cause pain and you choose to take it. Sadness- is time consuming and worthless, yes there is times to be sad and times not to be. But there are times that your sadness is too much. Happiness- is just a cover for what I honestly feel. Every emotion that we have is our choice... we choice to feel them.... well that is not always true... sometimes others inflict on us and we are the ones that are left to deal... we are... what we are and we choose what we feel.... These are my opinions, I know that they are disjointed but that is what I have come to honestly believe.What you do in life is your choice and you should always think before you make a decision even when you think that it is a small decision and that no one will be effected by it. In most cases the ones that we love and the ones that are closest to us are the ones that we hurt the most.Always appreciate the finer things in life and do not be afraid to make mistakes and laugh about them later. It is common and there is no one that has never made a mistake if they say they have never made a mistake then they are a liar. It takes a shit load of face muscles to frown but fewer to smile. So smile you scrooge bastard. The Surcease of Sorrow By Kelly L. DelaneyDo not stand at my grave and weep.I am not there, I do not sleep.I am the sparkle in the snow.I am the shredded leaves that blow.I am the sunlight on growing grain.I am the gentle summer rain.I am the quiet bird at night.Circling about; Taking flight.So do not stand at my grave and weep.I am not there, I do not sleep. My Truth By Jackie G. EllisWhen I lie awake at night I stare away at pure black. The darkness of the night soothes me. The constant noise of voices in my head never leaves. The voices are saying things that ought to be heard. Things that haunt me. Things that have hurt.The pain never goes. The deep never fills. I am hurt. For now I rest.I lie in my final minutes for which the pain has left me. The deep not filled for it is bad and has gone to far to save. The red over flows. I lay soaked. It does not stop.I thought of love but that thought had disappeared just like the world around. The dark comes back but does not leave.I am gone for now I awake to a new place.Here's my truth. When you stop and think back on your life what do you think that you will be remembered for? Will you be remembered for all the people you helped, all the money that you made, or how you where there when someone needed you the most? I am not sure what I will be remembered for but that is my biggest fear dying and no one remembering at least something I did for them. If it be my daughter remembering me holding her and singing to her, if it be the millions of times that I annoyed my husband by telling him “I love you” or even smiling at someone when they needed a smile. Life is important and no matter what you should hold on to it with ever fiber of your being. When someone yells at you, says hurtful things, or hurts you, you should be the bigger person and forgive them no matter what. Life is to short to hold a grudge. Almost all that you read in my profile is written by me, so please write your own and not steal from me.