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KoLe's blog: "copperheads"

created on 04/29/2008  |  http://fubar.com/copperheads/b211376

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
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2. My mother taught me RELIGION . "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
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3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL ;. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
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4. My mother taught me LOGIC . " Because I said so, that's why."
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5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
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6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
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7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
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8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
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9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
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10.. My mother taught me about STAMINA . "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
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11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
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12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY . "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
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13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
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14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!"
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15. My mother taught me about ENVY . "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
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16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."
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17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . "You are going to get it when you get home!"
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18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE . "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
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19. My mother taught me ESP . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
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20. My mother taught me HUMOR . "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
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21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
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22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
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23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS . "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
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24. My mother taught me WISDOM . "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
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25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
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