20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
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2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't
disguise your voice.
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3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
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4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
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5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
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6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
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7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
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8. Dont use any punctuation
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9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
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10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
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11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
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12. Sing along at the opera.
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13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
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14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
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15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
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16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
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17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
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18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!
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19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
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20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . Pass this on to someone to make them smile and laugh. Its called therapy
