Im starting to think there is something seriously wrong with me. Since I left Christian Ive had three bf. All lasting about 2 weeks each. I know the first one wasnt my fault. He was addicted to herion and liked it better than me. And the second one i messed up because im horrible with times and such and he gave me three strikes..the third on I messed up because I wanted the kid to come to my house sober...I really dont know whats wrong with me tho. I dont think Im up for this relationship thing...Friday night I went out to a party with this kid...well he came and got me at like 130am and drove over an hour back to the party. (just to see me) and we hung out at the party and it was really cute. you know..all that teenage romance stuff. (holding hands, the forehead kiss and the holding because its wayy to cold to play beer pong at 5am) I really thought everything was going great. I mean we had a blast. The night ended we went to Calli's to crash. Which was fine. then after we woke up we went to the mainst house (where all the gang hangs out n the summer) we decided to sleep there too. (and dezzy is proud of me because i didnt sleep with this kid and i really liked him) we talked about everything that we'd been talking about (abunch of mushy stuff you'd probably rather not hear) then he took me home. about an hour after he got he told me he didnt like me anymore. :[ so i was basically crushed all over again. yay me right? so i dont know what im doing wrong anymore. I try to be me and be really sweet and you know..i jumped n a pool at 430am for that kid so we all could swim...but idk. aparently im not good enoughh for anyone anymore. no one wants to date me..i mean they all think im cute and shit..but idk..i just cant figure out what im doing wrong :[
