I am an almost 40 year old guy who is starting to grow up. Over the past few years circumstances in my life have made me realize that although it is fun to run the streets with my friends and go out with whoever I want whenever I want it is a lonely existance when I go home and don't have anyone there waiting for me. I had a great girl who put up with a ton of crap from me. She left and I have now realized I may have screwed up one of the better things in my life. I am trying to win her back. Unfortunately she too has her issues now. Most of them are because of me. Even though we have had our differences she has still always been there for my kids. I think that is the part that gets me the most. How can someone who has been hurt so bad by me still have a heart of gold and still be there. She knows who she is, she knows that I love her. I only hope its not too late. I am not saying I have completely changed because I don't think I can. When I get off work I want to be able to relax at the bar with friends and have a couple of drinks before I head home. But what I am saying is I want you in my life and it has not been the same without you.