Heya Hello. What if April Fools day doesn't actually exist? That'd mean we've been victims of the longest running prank in history. Hope you have a great Friday!
Heya Hello. I accidentally stepped on a grape this morning, but I don't think I hurt it badly, although it did let out a little wine. Have a great Sunday!
Heya Hello. It's Earworm Time....I thought my wife was kidding when she said I Monkee around too much. But then I saw her face, and now I'm a believer... Have a great Saturday!
Heya Hello. It's time to mix an earworm with a bad pun....A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says"Wow, you are the first weasel I've had come in. What can I get you?""Pop" goes the weasel.... . Have a great Sunday!
Heya Hello. I told my doctor I was on a juice cleanse because I'd heard they are good for you. They told me"Drinking Mimosas and Bloody Mary's all day is not a juice cleanse..." Have a great Tuesday!
Heya Hello. A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head and orders a drink. The bartender serves him and asks about the towel. The pirate says"Aye Matey, I've got a bounty on my head...." Have a great Thursday!
Heya Hello. They say"To err is human", but did you know that is only part of the original saying? The full saying is"To err is human, and to arrr is pirate, and to Rawr is dinosaur." Have a great Sunday!
Heya Hello. *Slight NSFW Content*... I have broken up with my penis No matter how nice I was to him, he was always a dick to me... . Hope you have a great Wednesday!
Have a great Wednesday!
TGIF 
Have a great Thursday!
No matter how nice I was to him, he was always a dick to me... 
