I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I am the inventor of the colour vermilion. I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single - handedly defended my back garden from a horde of ferocious army ants.