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It's not them -- it's you! Here are 10 reasons you can't find a good man -- via Madamenoire.com.
1. You want to argue about everything all of the time.
Some women are addicted to drama. They don't know how to function in situations where no one is yelling or throwing someone's clothes out the window. I've said this before, but there's a lot of healthy relationship stuff between getting freaky and fighting. Save the drama for the Melanie Fiona videos. As I get older one of the most surprising things I've learned is that the best relationship I've ever had has been the most boring. By boring I mean I'm not checking his phone for text messages because there's nothing to check for. He doesn't do Facebook and our biggest arguments are over breakfast cereal. Our best moments are spent watching Netflix and talking smack about the drama in our friends' relationships.
2. You compare your relationship to everyone else's.
I was guilty of this for a long time. I knew what I signed up for when I started dating the boyfriend. He wasn't the "dozen roses for no reason" type and I fell in love with him anyway. He had 1000 other great qualities that I decided mattered more than flowers, candy all that stuff most people think love is about. Still, whenever a friend called to brag about romantic walks on the beach or posted a pic of breakfast in bed from their "hubby" I found myself doubting my relationship. Eventually I got my flowers and a good lesson that every relationship grows in its own time.
3. Your man makes or breaks your life.
There has to be more to you than finding or getting a man. We all have that friend that every five seconds is texting or calling her "Bae" or gets ghost on Twitter until there's some update like "Bae brought home shrimp for dinner. I <3 my Bae!" So what is it exactly that YOU do? I worry about men who want their woman's whole world to revolve around them, but I worry more about women who allow it. Most good men want a woman who's bringing more to the table than free time for him and a vast knowledge of the lives on Real Housewives of Atlanta. You don't have to choose between having a man and having a life.
4. You give your friends and followers the play by play of your relationship.
Death to the screen grab. Now not only do we have to hear about your relationship drama, we get to read it ridden with bad grammar. No man wants to worry that his every thought or emotion about you will be shared with the world. And honestly most of the world doesn't care. PDA is one thing, a play-by-play of the ups and downs of your relationship is a red flag that you need attention, a therapist or both.
5. You're doing the most, too early.
If you are planning shopping trips with his mom and buying scented candles for his crib and you met him two weeks ago you are officially doing the most. It sends the message that you're desperate, crazy or easy. No man wants to feel like you're doing for him what you do for every guy you meet or that he's being forced into boyfriend responsibilities that he's not ready for. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want, but sometimes you have to allow yourself to be pursued. Just because you've got butterflies and you want to pop up at his job and surprise him for lunch, doesn't mean you should. You can't rush the comfort that comes with being in a relationship for some time. Certain perks in a relationship have to be earned, otherwise don't try to play martyr talking about how "used and abused" you always are when you constantly give too much too soon.
6. You walk around with the "stank" face all the time.
Would you want to approach a man who looks like he's ready to swing on someone all the time? I hate when strangers tell me to "smile." The mean mug on the subway is necessary for survival sometimes in Philly, but you don't have to always look like you hate life. Especially if you're sitting at the bar on a Saturday with an attitude. It's like, "WTH did you come out for?" If you stay walking around with your eyebrows high looking like you smell trash juice it's no wonder men don't approach you.
7. You stay updated on Beyonce's life just to talk about how much you hate her.
Beyonce', Rihanna, Kim K....there are certain names that black men can utter to instantly piss off insecure women. Notice I wrote "insecure." I'm not saying you have to keep up with the Kardashians or even like them at all. But there is no reason women should be investing so much hate and energy into women they don't even know. I get it: They're rich and beautiful, and the media thinks if they talk about them enough they can make us like them. But there is no reason why if a man mentions how Kanye is a lucky man you should be catching feelings and a whole attitude. It's not that deep.
8. Your arguments always end with a 911 call.
This brings us back to the drama. Granted I teach a lot of young females with unhealthy ideas about relationships, but it never ceases to amaze me how often arguments between them and their boyfriends end with someone catching a case. Responsible, mature adults don't resort to kicking in doors, busting windows and physical abuse to get their point across or rectify their relationship problems. What's even worse is that more and more it's the females who are the first to take it there. Domestic violence is not attractive. If you have trouble controlling your temper, ditch the person that brings out the worse in you or find healthier ways to manage your stress.
9. He's managed to have decent relationships before and after you.
It may be hard to believe but there are exes who get along and recognize that just because that person wasn't good for them doesn't mean they aren't a good person. I always say just because he treated the last girl like....dog droppings doesn't mean he won't treat you like a daffodil. But if you are the only girlfriend he's ever had running around talking about what a jerk he is, the truth may be he was only a jerk to you. And that may not be your fault, some people just shouldn't date...ever. But if you find yourself in this situation a lot, it's time to get honest about the part you play in the problem.
10. You're dating the same guy over and over.
If you are having the same man problems over and over, it's probably because you're choosing the same man, at least figuratively. If you keep choosing the guy who is in the club every single weekend, you can't wonder why he always wants to go out and never spend time with you. If you keep going for "thugs" with swag, who smoke weed everyday and wait for their Social Security check, you can't be confused about why you can't find someone motivated with goals. Stop being comfortable and try checking for someone who isn't exactly your type. You might find the best thing you never knew you needed.
