Blog by FaLLen
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FaLLen's blog: ""

created on 10/15/2007  |
What do you say to somebody who's just lost a child?? An innocent little baby, who never even got the chance to experience life?? I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to think. ... So we drove down to Pittsuburgh Saturday morning to visit my friend's baby down there in the Pittsburgh Children's Hospital... It was going to be the first, and possibly last, time we would ever get to meet her. Our little "road trip" was sort of fun, despite the reason we were going down there. I think we were just trying not to think about WHY we were going down there. Well, we all got to hold this precious little baby.. She was so tiny. Her hand barely the size of my thumb... not even big enough to grip my pinky. Holding her was rather scary. She was so little. So fragile. So beautiful. ... Well, around 4 pm or so they took out her breathing tube. My friend decided to let nature take it's course, instead of putting her through a ton of surgeries... She would have never had a "real" life anyway... She'd be fed through a feeding tube her entire life, and she would have been in a wheelchair for awhile... who knows if she would have ever been able to walk?? Clubbed feet... and missing a bone in one of the legs... Anyway, she seemed to be doing well Saturday night. Still on oxygen, but going strong. We sat with her for awhile before we came back home... Yesterday morning, she passed away at 10am. We knew it was going to happen... eventually. The doctors had said she could have 10 minutes, 10 hours, or even 20 hours, but eventually, she was going to die. I don't think anybody really wanted to grasp that thought. I didn't know what to say to my friend. I still don't know. This baby...not even 2 months old yet... is no longer with us. It doesn't seem fair... yet at the same time, it seems that it's for the best. But how can you say that death is what's best for somebody, without feeling guilty??? Death is horrible. No matter what age or what's "for the best"... I guess I'll never understand. I'll just be there for my friend, whenever she needs me... And hope and pray that I never have to go through a situation like this. I wish she could have been spared this pain and stress... But they say everything happens for a reason, right? God has plan?
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