~ZEN SARCASM~
*Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for
*I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
*The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
*It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
*Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
*Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
*Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
*If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of your payments.
*Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
*If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
*Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
*If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
*If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
*Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
*Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
*The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
*A closed mouth gathers no foot.
*Duct tape is like 'The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
*There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
*Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
*Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
*Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Peace.
