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guidomedic's blog: "~ Zen Sarcasm ~"

created on 05/03/2008  |  http://fubar.com/zen-sarcasm/b212631
~ZEN SARCASM~ *Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for *I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. *The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. *It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. *Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. *Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. *Never test the depth of the water with both feet. *If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of your payments. *Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. *If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. *Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. *If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. *If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. *Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. *Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. *The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. *A closed mouth gathers no foot. *Duct tape is like 'The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. *There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. *Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. *Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. *Never miss a good chance to shut up. Peace.
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