Is there a magic cutoff period when
offspring become accountable for their own actions?
Is there a wonderful moment when
parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children
and shrug, "It's their life," and feel nothing?
When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for
doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter's head.
I asked, "When do You stop worrying?"
The nurse said," When they get out of the accident stage."
My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little hair in a classroom and
heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career making license plates.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
"Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit
back, relax and enjoy them."
My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to
ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said,
"They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you
can stop worrying. They'll be adults."
My dad just smiled faintly And said nothing.
By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was
still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle....
There was nothing I could do about it.
I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their
frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.
My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.
My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying
and lead my own life.
I wanted to believe that, but I was
haunted by my dad's warm smile and his occasional, "You look pale. Are
you all right?
Call me the minute you get home. Are
You depressed about something?"
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is
concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is
it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?
One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me,
"Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I
was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.
