will you suffer?
there does come in one's life, and sometimes many times in ones life, when the moralistic fiber of ones being shall be called into question. when in these times of doubt and pain, ones integrety shall be either glorified or shamed, depending on both the point of view and the preconceptions of the one that has taken it upon themselves to do the judging. the question that bears foremost in my mind is specifically what qualifies these harbingers of societys will to do so? have not we all stumbled on our path to glory at one time or another? have not we all, in either a moment of weakness or manic glory, given into our most carnal of needs or voilent of desires? what makes a brave man is not the lack of doubt or fear, but the strenth of conviction to plunge foreward despite these feelings screaming out to us. the ability to do what we know is right, what we know we MUST do is not a trait, it is one of the truest of virtues. while traits are something we are born with, vitues are something that we must earn through our suffering and pain, something that is gained through sheer conviction and willpower.
so there does come a time when one must ask onesself, shall i suffer for these indevities?
shall i bear the brunt of societies ill-will to do either what i believe is right? will i bear the shame i know i will incur when i do as i see fit, to do these things that i want to do for myself? if it doesn't affect anybody else, why do they care?...............
but they allways seem to find a way. maybe they have so little going on their lives that i am a form of entertainment for them. could it be that picking apart my life, the things that i do, is the only exciting thing that fills their otherwise monotonous dreary day?
well, to that i say thank you for spending so much valuable time thinking about me, but i must say that is completely unnessesary, as i know completely and utterly what i am doing. i am in complete control of my life and you my friend (i lose that term loosely because your ill-will of me shows that you are anything but) are not affected by my decisions. you should probably stop being so worried about my every action. you voice your opinion on how you think that i suck, that im a fuck up, that the things i do are uncool. you question MY moral integrety while you stab each other in the back, lie, cheat and steal from your so called girlfriends or boyfriends, ect.
you publicly condemn me for publicly displaying much lesser crimes and being myself. i am open with who i am, displaying my true and deepest being for all the world to see whether i like it or not. you on the other hand, laugh and scowl, then when you think no one is looking, commit the most blatant and horrible moral felonies in your dark little corners.
so i scream out this to those who will listen: "will you suffer for these indevities?" "will you hold your head high and bear the whips and scorns of time, the shame of society, in order to be true to yourself?" "or will you follow the crowd, giving up yourself and your happiness to become a bleached, doomed little sheep just to gain the ficle respect of those who don't really care about you much anyway?"
i have tasted the maggots in the mine of discovory and i was not offended. for i knew i must rise above it all, or drown in my own shit.
remember, free your mind and your ass will follow.
and just remember to be true to yourself and the ones you love...and even the ones you don't. because we are all brothers and sisters, some of us have just wandered off the path of glory.
