I really need to vent. So if you want to stop reading now is a good time to do so this is not going to be pretty at all.
You know I try to be all nice and cheerful for my friends but sorry it just does not work . I try to be there for anyone that needs me but where does it get me.
Somedays I just do not know what some people want from me. I try and try and try and never seems to be good enough for someone. Reason being the name before this one.
My Give A Damn Is Busted. I am getting to the point, I just do not give a f*ck anymore.
My life itself is so screwed up right now, but I put the smiley face on like everyone wants to see but inside I am dying. Some days my skin just crawls to have to be the nice sweet person everyone wants me to be. I would give the shirt off my back to help almost anyone. But it seems all I get is hurt, disappointment and someone using me one way or another. So when people ask me why I build the wall around me that I have, this is why. It protects me from being hurt. I expect nothing so then I will not be disappointed. I do not get too close, then I will not be hurt either.
Well I have thought about it long and hard. I am going to be ME. If something is bothering me, I am not going to hide it anymore. My TRUE friends will except me for who I am.
Somewhere along the way I lost ME and just cared about everyone else. Well I am not getting any younger, I ready to start thinking about me also.
I am not trying to be mean or hurtful to anyone in my life but I have so much my plate at the moment it is hard to get thru one day to the next.
Ok I am done venting. I am off to my corner now
