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What are you waiting for?
Will you have sexual intercourse within the next week or two? NOT IF HE EVER CALLS IT SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, I WONT BE. "OHHH BABY MAKE SWEET SEXUAL INTERCOURSE TO ME"
The last time you saw your best friend, what did you do? GAVE HIM A KISS AND CONTINUED TALKING ONLINE
Do you think your ex still wants to be with you? I THINK HE WANTED TO COME LIVE WITH ME FOR SURE, I MEAN HELL I SAW HIM FLY INTO THE AIRPORT.
What is a word you say a lot? REALLY?
Is there anything you should be worried about? PROBABLY MAKING THE HOUSE NOT SMELL LIKE PUPPY BEFORE MY SISTER COMES UP.
You're up after 3 AM, what's the reason? DANS JUST COMING TO BED FROM PLAYING XBOX LIVE.
Are you in a relationship with anyone? I AM.
Who was the last person to text you? MY NEPHEW, STEVE.
Have you ever liked someone just because they were good looking? MAYBE MIKE. MAYBE. THATS MY EXCUSE, ANYWAYS.
What were you doing 2 hours ago? FIGHTING WITH WALMART.
Name something random in the same room as you: STEAM CLEANER.
Is smoking a turn off? CHAIN SMOKING.
Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you? IT HAS HAPPENED, BUT NOT WITH THIS ONE!!
Every girl needs a little black dress. Do you agree? MY DRESS IS ORANGE AND FRILLY.
What kind of mood are you in? TIRED AND ABOUT TO GO PLAY DDR ON THE IPHONE.
If you could have anything in the world, what would it be and why? ALL OF MY CHILDREN TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY KIDS.
Why aren't you dating the last person who you texted? THAT WOULD BE INCEST AND STATUTORY, THANKS.
How open are you with people, out of 10? 6 - I MEAN AFTER ALL I DID TELL OUR NEIGHBOR TODAY THAT I HAD A FUNGAL INFECTION NOT CURED BY VAGISIL. APPARENTLY I AMUSED HIM.
Do you think you can last in a relationship for over 6 months? I AM. THANKS.
Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn't? MY MOTHER AND WHITNEY.
Do you enjoy reading? I DO. I LIVE IN THOSE FANTASY WORLDS.
What are your parents doing right now? MY MOM IS WATCHING OVER ME, MY DAD IS SLEEPING.
How many cigarettes have you smoked today? NONE THANKS.
4 months ago, who did you have a crush on? THE BOYFRIEND.
Say something to someone without stating names: I LOVE YOU ALWAYS.
What is your dream car? '89 FIREBIRD TRANS AM.
Do you honestly have feelings for someone at the moment? MY FAMILY UNIT.
Is there anything upsetting you? NOT IN PARTICULAR.
How is the weather? NOT AS COLD TODAY.
What are you looking forward to within the next few months? POPING OUT THIS BABY!!!
What's the closest item that is yellow? A CANDLE.
Are you eating/drinking anything right now? DIET PEPSI.
What jewelry are you wearing? ENGAGEMENT RING. DOG TAG.
What's something you'd automatically hate someone for? CHEATING
How's life treating you? ITS GETTING THERE.
Who's car were you last in? THE FAMILY CIVIC.
Are you avoiding anyone right now? NOT SO MUCH.
What was the last song you had on repeat for a good while? I DO NOT RECALL.
Have you ever been in a car, while someone was driving drunk? CANT SAY THAT I HAVE. WAIT, NO, YES, BUT ONLY IN A SMALL TOWN GOING LIKE A HALF A MILE.
What scares you the most in life? IT ENDING.
When was the last time you tried not to cry? TODAY.
Did you succeed? BARELY.
What do you hear? THE FAN.
Did you learn anything new today? YEAH WALMART AND TAKING CHECKS = STUPIDLY RETARDED.
What was the last movie you watched? THE UNINVITED.
Who's hand did you last hold? DANNIES.
Who or what caused you to be in the mood you're in now? DANNIE. ITS HAPPINESS.
Ever wanted to tell someone something, but couldn't? YES
Do you believe in karma? OH MORE THAN ANYTHING.
Ever sang to someone? LUCAS, EVERYDAY. HE LOVES "YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE" AND "ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER"
When was the last time you felt like you were going to pass out? TODAY.
Ever given someone false hope? YEAH I HAVE.
When was the last time you were given any type of "talk"? YESTERDAY BY MY SISTER, APPARENTLY BEFORE I SPEND ANY MASS AMOUNTS OF MONEY, I MUST CALL HER FIRST :)
Have you ever felt like you had lost it all? AT A FEW POINTS IN LIFE, I HAD. YOU DONT GET LOWER THAN HOMELESS LIVING OUT OF A GARBAGE BAG MY FRIEND.
Are you planning on having kids? OUR SON IS 15 MONTHS, OUR NEXT SON IS DUE IN DECEMBER, WE PLAN ON ANOTHER IN THREE YEARS, AND POSSIBLY ONE MORE AFTER THAT. SO FOUR TOTAL.
i have no idea. sometimes i just have these dorky moments. don't judge me.
Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry
So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling i love you so...
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye
It really was a very uneventful day as far as leaving the hotel room. We did however go on a two hour long journey to find the Swimfan movie at walmart. It's so fun in DC when a ten mile drive takes literally an hour. Stupid GPS and traffic.
I had a nervous break down today thinking Dan was going to leave me. At one point he started saying "I can't help you anymore, Crystal." He hates me being "emo". We made a promise, I quit being emo, we no longer change our plans. I will stay in the pittsburgh apartment we get and see him every weekend until he is released.
He's been bumming really hard today after his appointment. They didn't tell him how much longer he had, but more about brain injuries they have found. Calling him impulsive and unable to rationalize. I think he rationalizes just as much as a person without a brain injury... he thinks the same way I do :) I tried to comfort him. I told him no-matter what they told him today, he is still the same guy he was yesterday. And this is the Dan I fell in love with.
Mmm Marb Milds from Dan *smiles*
We were reading Whinnies old journal entry where she stated she hoped Dan and I both went to hell... who would have thought?
I called dad up tonight... let's just say, we're going to be pretty damn well off if Dan and I pull this off. If we prove we're in it for the long hall, we will be set in six months. Start the timer...
Waiting on Dan to call now. He's off to his barracks for the night. I miss him, but I enjoy our nights away at the same time. This weekend we will stay together. Tomorrow is the smithsonian museum of natural history. Yay for dinosaur bones!
We were going to go to the zoo today, but the rain prevented that. The DC zoo is pretty large, and admission is free, so I'm sure when we do go, it will be more than a simple one day affair. We also have to hit up the smithsonian natural history museum. Dan is very excited for that last one, he is a big history buff. I just want to see this dinosaur bones.
I have been having a back and forth battle of the myspace messages with Rachel ever since I told her I would be coming for Lucas this weekend. She was bound and determined I would be leaving him for good. That very much annoys me. And I can't wait to see my boy.
Ship just reminded Danny tonight that he gets housinig allowance, and so now after he speaks with his case manager tomorrow, we will be looking into apartments. It is undecided as of yet if that will be an apartment in DC, or a place in PA he will come visit on weekends until he gets out. We're pretty sure he will be out in about a month, give or take a week. But will know more soon. I am leaning on DC as that way I will be here with him and able to be driven to DR apointments for Lucas and such, instead of taking a bus. Dan will be able to take me where I need to go to get Lucas on state medicaid here as well as WIC. Jesus, WIC is going to think I move way to fucking much. Food stamps will also come, I'm sure, as Dan will possibly still be living in walter reed medical center and not actually with me. However, I hope they do allow him to move with me right off campus. He wouldn't be far and still make formation as well as all his apointments. We're going to sit down tonight and talk about it when he gets back. As for now, I have sent him back to his room to spend time with Ship and play some Halo on Xbox. I want him to know he still has that kind of freedom. Hell most of the time, I'm the one brining it up, telling him to go.
He's texting me now asking how the Rachel thing is going, he says he's worried about me. The boy can't even hang out with his friends without checking on me. And that's why I love him.
Dan says he understands why I don't trust anyone to remain in my life. Even my family, the father who raised me all my life, has bailed on me. My mother was the only thing holding me to any of their lives, and now she is gone. Though I understand my mother being gone was by no choice but gods, it still hurts. And Dan says flat out, "there's nothing more that I can do other than say it's going to be different. I am your family." He swears he will be the constant in my life. And with every inch of my being, I do hope so. He pays so much to keep me around, it's far more than a fake relationship at this point.
We went to FYE in the mall today, after lunch at Austin Grill, looking for swimfan. No such luck. But he did buy me my very own copy of varsity blues. And it's the little things like that, the simple little DVD, that make me realize how different he is. Nothing is trivial.
So uhm... there is a twilight umbrella, yo. And I have to have it. *by the way*
I forgot what else I wanted to mention, honestly. I could use a ciggarette. I want some marb milds right about now. *sigh*
Danny, will you PLEASE write in your damn journal? Seriously.
I really love how he leaves his laptop here for me all the damn time now. I should steal it and call it my baby. I fucking love it, and I never thought I would like a laptop. It's just so easy to type... Sweetness.
I just got the weirdest text from someone saying the new my husband. Ok? I don't even know my husband... last I heard, he was dead. WTF?
his first pair of chucks! YES!
:) his father would be so proud.
