CAJUNN's blog: "web cam"

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof.... the light goes on. When I'm done, poof....the light goes off." "Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife. "Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof.... the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof....the light goes off?" "Oh my God!" Ethel exclaims. "He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"

SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER I must send my thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda , Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt. Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. Oh, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law 's second husband's cousin's beautician... Have a wonderful day. A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

> The North has coffee houses, > The South has Waffle Houses > > The North has dating services, > The South has family reunions. > > The North has switchblade knives, > The South has Lee Press-on Nails. > > The North has double last names, > The South has double first names. > > The North has Indy car races, > The South has stock car races. > > The North has Cream of Wheat, > The South has grits. > > The North has green salads, > The South has collard greens. > > The North has lobsters, > The South has crawfish. > > The North has the rust belt, > The South has the Bible Belt. > > FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . > > In the South: > > If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in >a > four-wheel drive > pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't >try to > help them, > just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. > Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. >Do > not buy food at this store! > > Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all >y'all's" is > plural possessive. > Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?" > > Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how >to > use it. > > Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They >can't > understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a > transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," >truck or > "big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced >dialect > this way. All of them are in denial about it. > > The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. > Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here. > > If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you >should > stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll >ever say. > > If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the >smallest > accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery > store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just >have to > go there. > > Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own >shotguns, > they are proficient marksmen, and their mammaws taught them how to >aim. > > In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green >lawn > is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. > AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bare children, don't > think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had >kittens > in > the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. > > Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon >your life > will > turn into a country music song 'fore you know it. > Your kin would get a kick out of it too!

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here." The old man said, "Okay," and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton". The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here." The man thanked him and again walked away . . . The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I've told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?" The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you just fine. I just love hearing your answer!" The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."

My Daddy the Dancer... > > > > > > One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their > > > fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, > > > mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth. > > > > > > > > > > > > However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so > > > when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's > > > an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front > > > of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the > > > offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him > > > all night for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, > > > hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took > > > little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National > > > Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next > > > President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other > > > kids."

thanx so much becky

COME ON PEOPLE I JUST NEED 45 POINTS FOR MY NEXT LEVEL HELP PLEASE

NOW I LAY HER DOWN FOR SEX, I PRAY THAT SHE IS TIGHT AND WET. BUT IF SHE LOOSE AND DRY INSIDE , I PRAY HER MOUTH CAN OPEN WIDE. AMEN!

fan me please i want to move up please purtty please

I GOT PICS TO LOAD GET ME TO THE NEXT LEVEL LOL