After the week I've had, I need a good stiff drink and a friend... or is that a good stiff friend and a drink... hmmm ;)

Dear Santa; Do not bother coming to my house this year. Yes...I was naughty, and I enjoyed every minute of it you judgmental bastard!

A life filled with love is filled with thorns but a life empty of love will never have roses.

Yaaaa it's Friday... so lets be real nice today and avoid confrontation... then explode on everyone Monday morning.

I give up!!!!! :(

A naughty thought a day keeps the stress away;)

People are always telling me to be good!!! What they don't realize is I am ALWAYS GOOD I just never behave

~ my friends, I wish you peace, love and health. Blah, Blah blah... screw that! I wish you lots of sex, alcohol, orgasms and hope you win the power-ball!

fun things to do in Walmart #45: Take the "try me" stickers off of the plush toys and place them on condom boxes.

I don't want a prince in shining armor, I want a goof-ball in aluminum foil :D

..hmmmm.. If I can't remember it in the morning, and there is no photographic evidence, does that mean it didn't really happen?

Everyone always waits for the love of their life. Well, I am going to be different. I am going to wait until I am the love of someone Else's life. (:

Some people complain that roses have thorns, I'm thankful the thorns have roses.

**Surgeon General Warning** *flirting With Me May Lead 2 Extreme infatuation & in Some Cases Unbelievable pleasure*

*Phone vibrates* Runs across the room,jumps over couch ninja style,trips over sleeping dog,dives on floor for phone. Dang,its not who i thought it was.

I can be such an angel most of the time; but there's that one person that for whatever reason brings out the devil me!

I'm making Prozac, Morphine,Chocolate chip cookie dough ,vodka,rum, whiskey, beer and moonshine martinis. Anyone else want one ?

99% angel but ohhhhh that 1 percent!

I am a rare breed! I am not the easiest to handle, but I promise if you figure out how to handle me, it will be worth your time!

believes that mornings come in three sizes: Early, Too Early, and Way Too Early!"