Any of my fubar friends Advocare Associates ?

I wonder what fubar employees do to kill time at work?

I don’t have any nudes but can I interest you in a picture of me elbows deep in a bucket of fried chicken?

When I'm not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.

I just found out that сосk fighting is done with chickens? That's 12 months of training gone to waste!

The difference between in-laws and outlaws...... Outlaws are wanted. :)

I wonder how many strangers have stories of me being that random person doing that weird thing that I didn’t think anyone saw.

No matter how good a person you are, you are evil in someone’s story.

How old were you when you realised that the game TAG stands for "Touch & Go"? I was "today years old"..

We have no idea how far numbers go, but we do know that 0 is in the middle.

Some of us have made hundreds, maybe even thousands of online strangers laugh.

Getting older as a man is realising that Velma would be a better relationship partner Than Daphne.

Sorry, but if your 8-yr-old has the audacity to tell me what color belt he has in karate, I'm obligated to fight him. This is about honor.

Because telescopes work with mirrors, we’ll never know if there’s any space vampires.

A lot more people would be organ donors, if only listed organ donors were eligible for donor organs.

A lot of dating is about finding someone approximately as perverted as you are.

Patience is not necessarily the ability to wait, but how we act while we’re waiting.

Take the hint people...... Earbuds are a do not disturb sign.

Nutrition labels should have a ‘What if I ate the whole damn thing’ section.

Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Samuel Adams and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.