How do these people survive?
ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve,"
was
the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order
six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets!
!
TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items
and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all
of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar
code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you
know how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy
that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She
had
no clue to what had just happened.
THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do
you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I
asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car
keys to
me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost
out
of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
"blank"
copies.
SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor
home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
I
asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set
the
"cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when
they
have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a
woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
from
the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing
a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
telling
the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
confessed.
NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if
she
needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.
The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be
fine.
The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush
him
in to emergency room!
Life is tough .
It's tougher if you're stupid
"Smile, it will increase your face value"
