Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.



SUCK GAS, EVILDOER

Things to know.
Cliff Spanks!!!

Spam and Chicken make good babies;

When you tell your girl you may have an anger problem, and she says she likes that about you, well then she's probably a keeper;

The worst thing you can do for a loved one, is what they can do on their own;

If my answers frighten you, stop asking scary questions;

If you lie, and I know it, I'm going to clown you;

Don't bs a bs'er;

Don't expect me to care unless you are a special individual. And if you don't know if you are a special individual...you're prolly not;

I'm not a jerk, you're just too damn sensitive;

If I say I don't care, then I really don't care;

Don't expect me to apologize. It happens about as often as a lunar eclipse. So if I do, take it and move on;

If I offend you, don't let me know, cuz then I'll prolly just do it more;

If you try to kill yourself and it doesn't work, yes you are the ultimate failure. Just live with it;

It's very rare that I care, so if I ask what's wrong and you say nothing, I'm going to assume it's nothing and move on;

Nothing you say offends me, sorry (lunar eclipse) it just doesn't;

If you leave a comment and I don't immediately get back to you, don't take it personal. I just forgot;

If I offer my friendship and you blow me off, it will never happen again;

Okay maybe I am a jerk, but you are still too sensitive. Lighten up.


I will answer any question you ask. But if you ask dumb questions I will give dumber answers then giggle as you try to decide if I'm serious.

The specifics are I work 3+ jobs, have two children and they both bark when they see and don't have thumbs. I'm from the Bronx, moved to Baltimore for 3 years (exactly 3 yrs) and have been in Buffalo for the last 7. I'm a cynic, I'm sarcastic, I'm an ass, but I'm probably the coolest person you'll EVER meet...no really, I'm THAT good. I'm here for entertainment, so if you decide to try to upset me I will turn it into entertainment and it'll prolly just upset you, which will entertain the hell outta me.

Feel free to shout me because if I haven't spoken to you before chances are I'm not gonna go outta my way to talk to you. Nothing personal. A.D.D. can be a bitch.

Anything else you wanna know ask at your own risk.


I'm gonna hit that so hard, the person that pulls it out will become the next king of England.




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