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Alone (The Thoughts Of MEM Chapter 30)

June 4, 2014 at 11:47pm

In My Head The Thoughts Are Cold.

 

Whispering To My Heart That I'll Always Be Alone. 

 

Laughs And Smiles As Real As They Seem. 

 

As Real As Your One True Dream. 

 

Time Is Your Enemy But Also Your Friend. 

 

Because It Always Gets Easier Towards The End. 

 

The Pain Of Losing Is A Lesson In Life. 

 

A Way Of Saying In The End I'll Be Alright. 

 

I'll Be Alright. 

 

I Open My Eyes And The Smile Returns 

 

The Sun Starts Shining And My Heart Begins To Thaw. 

 

I Was Never Alone. I Had It All In Front Of Me All Along. 

 

Now I Realize I'm Not Alone.

 

I'm Not Alone

 

As It Is Written As So Shall It Come To Pass Quote The MEMesis Forever More.

The Pain Is Still Here. 

I Love But Nothing Changes.

I Try To Stay Strong And Hope For What I Want.

But It Laughs In My Face All The Same. 

I Can't Walk Away Even Though I'm Told I Should. 

I Put Myself Through This Agony To Know I'm Still Alive.

I Fight So Hard Against My Will To Give Up The Fight. 

I Will Always Be Here If You Only Open Your Eyes To See. 

Cause I Still Believe In You And Me. 

And Even If You Don't Now Maybe One Day You Will. 

And I Hope On That Day I'm Still Good Enough For Us.

Cause Every Day Away From You Kills Me Alittle More Inside.

Waiting Hurts But Not As Much As Walking Away. 

I Could Never Do That To You In Any Time Or Place. 

You Deserve Better Than That. 

Even If It's Not From The Love I Gave. 

For The Love I Gave Is Just The Love I Will Give. 

Only This Time Stronger Cause I Know What It's Like To Lose. 

And It's The Hardest Thing I've Ever Been Through. 

To Wake Up Alone And To Not Be Able To Wake Up And See Your Face. 

I Know I Made Mistakes And I'll Probably Make A Million More. 

But The Worse One I Ever Made Was The Last Time I Walked Out Your Door. 

All I Want Is To Erase That Thought From Our Memory And Start Over Again. 

Just You And I Vs. Those Against Us.

Not Against The Whole World Cause There Is Those That Want Us To Succeed. 

And I Know We Can If You Only Believe. 

Just Fight Against The Feelings That Are Keeping You Away. 

Cause I'm Right Here Waiting. 

Waiting For This Current Situation To Change. 

And I'll Continue To Wait No Matter How Much It Aches. 

Cause We Are Worth It.

If We Only Give In And Take The Chance. 

<3 

As It Is Written As So Shall It Come To Pass Quote The MEMesis...Forevermore!

I Search Hard Inside But Nothing I Can Find. 

The Blackness Subdues Me. The Pain Is Too Deep.

I Try To Get Myself Together But Like A Circle...

There Is No Beginning Nor A End. 

 

My Thoughts Play Tricks. 

My Heart Is No Where To Be Found.

My Eyes See The Illusion Of A Better Me. 

An Illusion That Is Out Of My Grasp. 

It Flyes Around In Circles...

No Beginning Or End In Sight.

 

Who Am I? 

That Question Is Returitcal In Verse.

This Life Sometimes Is Too Hard.

It All Seems Rehersed...

No Beginning Or End In Words.

Just A Circle....Trying To Win The Race. 

 

Right Now I Am Numb...

But My Ascension Is Near....

Voiceless Now But My Words Will Be Heard. 

Be Prepared For The Coming Change..

When This World Will Get This Forgiven Drop Of Rain. 

And No Dry Eye Will Be Seen. 

And Every Voice Will Be Heard.

For The Circle In Front of Us. 

Actually A Circle Doesn't Mean 

Something Without A Beginning Or End. 

A Circle Means To Never Give Up. 

It's The Last Hope When You Don't Think There Is Any Hope Left. 

It's Right In Front Of You To Grab If You Just Reach Out And Do So. 

So Put A Smile On Your Face. Pick Your Head Up And Have Faith. 

Because The Numbess Will One Day Fade And You WIll Have Better Days. 

 

As It Is Written As So Shall It Come To Pass...Quote The MEMesis Nevermore. 

There Once Stood In A Field Of Green.

 

12 Red Roses For All To See.

 

Love Once Held Is Love Now Lost & 12 Red Roses That Paid The Ultimate Cost.

 

The Rose's Blood Seeps To The Ground.

 

Like Love's Last Tears As It All Crashes Down.

 

And 12 Red Roses That No Longer Bloom.

 

Is Now Love Cradled In Winter's Dark Cold Gloom. 

 

And 12 Black Roses That Now Marks The Tomb.

 

Happiness Is Gone And Sadness Remains.

 

Like 12 Red Roses That Got Lost In The Rain.

 

The Pain Of Loneliness Makes The Heart Bleed.

 

Like The Thorns Of Red Roses Blooming In The Spring.

 

But That Was Then And This Is Now.

 

And 12 Black Roses Sadly Cover The Ground. 

 

Once Was Green Is Now Dead.

 

Like 12 Black Roses That Used To Be Red.

 

As It Is Written As So It Shall Come To Pass. Quote The MEMesis Nevermore

The Images Swirl In My Head. 

The Mirror Lies Just The Same.

Am I Really Ok? Or I Am Doomed To The Pain?

Why If The Sun Is Shining...Do I See Rain?

The Chains Bound Me Down. 

Sometimes It's Too Much To Bear. 

Forever Alone I Sometimes Feel. 

Even In The Midst Of Company.

I'm Invisible...One In The Same. 

I'm Crying Out For Relief.

But There Isn't Any In Sight. 

I Stand Tall...But Sometimes It's Hard To Continue The Fight.

Why Is The Darkness So Strong? That All It Brings Is Strife.

Sometimes That Pain Cuts So Deep...It's Sharp Like A Knife. 

I Am But A Man...Nothing More, Nothing Less.

29 Years Old And Have Tried To Pass Life's Test. 

My Mind Is Always Running...I Wish It Would Slow Down So I Could Rest. 

A Season In Hell? Or Just The Path To Salvation? 

Makes Me Wonder How I Care So Much Only To Be Numb To How I Really Feel. 

A Heart Is The Greatest Gift But Can All Be A Curse.

Mine Is The Reason For Each And Every One Of These Words.

Words That Are Pure And True As They Appear Upon The Page. 

Words That Only Get Wiser As I Come Wiser With Age. 

A Rage Within Me That Is Locked In It's Cage.

Waiting For The Key To Be Turned So It Burns For All Days. 

Like The Fire Of A Billion Suns Consuming Everything In It's Wake. 

A Sun So Bright It Will Fill My Darkest Days. 

But I Until That Time. I'll Sit And I'll Cry...

And Watch This Nocturnal Rainbow Feel My Sky...

As It Is Written As So Shall It Come To Pass...Quote The MEMesis...Nevermore

 

I Am A Being Forever Alone.

My Thoughts Are Forever Cursing. 

I Am Wandering In The Shadows Trying To Find My Home.

Blinded By Life, But Never Afraid Of What's Ahead.

The Weight Of The World Crashing Over My Head.

I Wish This Curse Would Leave Me Be.

And Let Me Rest And For Once Let Me Have Good Dreams.

Nightmares They Haunt Me. I Don't Want To Go To Sleep.

The Legend Of Happiness Is Something I Hold On Too Every Day.

Hoping It's Not A Myth. Pleading, Screaming  Hoping That It's True.

Loneliness Is A Razor, It Cuts Deep Into Your Soul. 

It's Cold And Scarring Wound Burns Longer And Hotter. 

Each Day You Go. 

Smoke And Mirrors Are Around Each Turn. 

And Life's Lesson Are Forever Learned.

Actually More Like Forced Onto You. 

No Studying For This Test. It's Just Something You Have To Endure.

Maybe That's Why I'm Cursed.

Because I Was Forced To Take That Test Before Countless Others.

I Was A Scapegoat For The Cruel Jokes That Were Always Felt.

Never Said Directly To My Face. But I Knew They Were Always There.

Go Ahead And Try To Hold Me Down. In That You Will Always Fail.

Because I Have The Heart To Stand For My Own.

For One Day I Will Be On The Throne.

And You Will Be Somewhere By Yourself And Unprepared.

For The Journey I Have Already Successfully Made. 

Let's See How You Fare. When Your Walking Alone.

 

As It Is Written As So Shall It Come To Pass...Quote The MEMesis....NEVERMORE!!  

The Clock Strikes.

It Ticks By Each Second.

Never Again To Be Regained.

Lost Forever But Still In The Same Place. 

Like A Rose In Winter, Beauty Is Taken Away.

Never Again To Be Praised. Only Left Damaged And Jaded.

But Stop And Think That One Day When There Is Rain.

The Clouds Will Disperse And The Rain Will Disappear.

The Sun Will Finally Shine And The Things That Were

Once Damaged Will Then Be Healed.

And That Damaged Rose Will Once Again Be What It Is Suppose To Be.

A Thing Of Pure Beauty In This Cold Decrepit World.

A World Reborn A World Healed With That Time That We Thought Was Lost.

For Really With Each Passing Moment A Moment Is Gained.

A Moment That Can Repair Any Damage That In Your Life Has Taken Place.

And Sometime In The Future Rather It Be Sooner Than Later Or Later Than Sooner.

We Will All Regain That Praise & Will Be Called To Accept Our Grace.

 

As It Is Written As So Shall It Come To Pass Quote The MEMesis Nevermore. 

Is It Right That Mothers Should Cry?

Is It Right That Sons Have To Die? 

For A War That Doesn't Mean A Thing.

Because It's Not Our Freedoms We Are Fighting For.

We're Fighting Overseas For The Freedoms Of Others. 

We're Already Free To A Point.

If We Really Lived In The Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Brave. 

Then Why Are Murderers, Rapists, And Child Molesters On The Streets. 

When There Are So Many People In Prison For Something As Innocent As Possessing A Nickel Bag? 

I For One Thinks This Is Really Fucked Up. 

I May Not Be A Parent But I Am A Uncle Who Loves My Nieces And Nephews Like They Are My Own.

And If Someone Was To Hurt Them In Anyway...Well To Quote The Movie Casino...

"I Would Crack Their Skull And Just As They Were Coming Out Of A Coma..I'll Be Getting Out Of Prison.

And You Know What I'm Going To Do Once That Happens...I'm Going To Crack Their Skull Again."

How Can This Be The Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Brave.

When The People Who We Are Suppose To Trust With Those Freedoms

Are The Most Corrupt People On The Face Of The Planet?

I Have Never Shied Away From What I Believe In Fact I'm A Very Vocal With My Beliefs. 

Some People Praise Me For It And I'm Sure There Are People That Hate Me For It.

But Oh Well Right Or Wrong I'm Me. I Speak My Mind. I Speak The Truth.

If We Really Want Change Then It's Not In The Government's Power To Give Us Change.

The Government Bows To The People. We The People Are The Leaders And The Government Is A Blind Follower.

And Until We Make Them Open Their Eyes...Nothing Is Going To Change.

I Don't Mean By Force I Would Never Wish Violence On Anyone Unless They Deserve It.

The Government Just Needs To Listen To Us And Quit Pushing Their Own Blind Agenda.

Because Without Us The People Where Would They Be?

Probably Wasting Their Degrees Flipping Big Macs At Mick A Dees?

Probably Living On A Street Corner With A Sign Saying "Will Work For Food"?

Doing The Same Things They Wish For Us Not To Do Because They Don't Know What It's Like To Struggle To Survive.

They Live In Their Fancy Houses With Their Fancy BMW's While There Are People Starving In The Streets. 

They Buy Their Kids Fancy Jordan's While Other Kids Struggle To Even Get A Education.

And How Is This Not Fucked Up? 

 

As It Is Written As So It Shall Quote The MEMesis...NEVERMORE!!!

In A City Far Away,

In The Purest Of Snow.Lives A Seed That Does Not Grow.

Lying In A Crack In The Side Walk.

Looking Up At A World That Doesn't Care.

It's Beauty Is Taken For Granted.

With Each Little Passing Step.

The Sadness Within Begins To Fade.

Like The Snow That Will Melt On One Faithful Day. 

And That Seed That Lives In The City.

Will Become A Rose That Grew From Concrete.

A Rose That At One Time Was Ugly And Taken For Granted.

Will One Day Be A Sign Of Beauty....In This Dark, Cold, Lonely World.

 

As It Is Written As So Shall It Come To Pass....Quote The MEMesis....Nevermore!!

There Is A Place I Reside...

Called Hell On Earth...

Where Pain Is On Every Street Corner...

Around Every Turn...

It's A Place Where My Body Is The Same...

But My Heart Always Burns...

You Would Think It's A Curse...

But It's Actually A Blessing You See...

Without This Strife I Would Be Half Of What I Am Today...

I Am Stronger Now Thanks To This Life...

The Journey Through This Hell Has Led Me Down A Rocky Road...

Sometimes It Was Dark Sometimes I Was Alone...

The Path To Heaven Leads Through Hell...

That's Why I Keep Walking Because I Know It Is There...

Somewhere Out There Is The Life I Deserve...

I Only Know This Because My Heart Is Pure...

I've Been Through Alot In My 27 Years But It's Something That I Can Endure...

Most People Can't Bear What I Have In The Short Amount Of Time That I Have...

That's Why I Say This With Truthful Pride...

That Even Though I Get Broken At Times...

I Will Repair The Damage...

I Will Not Be Broken Forever...

I Will Be Whole...

A Being That Will Never Die...

I Am The Voice Of The Young People...

That Doesn't Have Strength Or Reason...

If You Can't Bear Your Pain Hand It Off To Me Because I Know I Can...

People Have Tried To Hurt Me In The Past But Over All They Failed...

Here's The Thing About Depression And The Shit That You Wanna Do To Me...

You Can't Do Anything That I Haven't Thought About Doing To Myself...

Suicidal Thoughts And Once Coming Nightmares Swirl Through Everyone's Head... 

The Only Way Of Knowing If Your Strong Is The Decision To Carry Out Those Thoughts Or Not...

Most People Choose To Hide Behind A Mask Of Happiness Instead Of Showing How They Truly Feel...

Me I Choose To Write About It So Someone Else Can Find Help...

I Am The The Guide...

The Ever Holding Hand...

So If You Need Guidance...

Look Me Up And Ask Me... 

Because I'm One Of The Ones That Care...

So It Is Written As So It Should Pass: Quote The MEMesis...NEVERMORE!!!

 

 

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