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i know i can't be the only one who feels this way.  sometimes feelings feed into the things we do rationally or irrationally.  i think before we decide to jump into things you must know yourself first. 

i thought i knew myself, but realized that i didn't in some weird way.  i looked for nurturing because i didn't find it in my life and things went awry.  i am left hurt and feeling like i am worth nothing.  i don't know why i let myself get emotionally involved and get used, but i guess thats the MO i need to break out of.  hell, i don't even let people in my life unless i've known them for a while, but sometimes you take a chance and fear rejection and guess what......you go in with arms wide open and find out that you are rejected in the end.

i plan on taking some time to know myself and to know when the signs are heading for the irrational risk taking events.  when its all over i know that its like falling off a top cliff and hurting everywhere from pain and then crying in agony.  

i'm just rambling now.  for those of you who read this remember to do things for yourself and know who you are before jumping in.  it will save you alot of heartache and heartbreak....no matter if you try to keep your emotions in check.

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