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What are you waiting for?
From what I can gather from my spidey sense
and my elementary understanding of romance languages
this isn't going over so well.
Seems there's a problem with the honky who came to dinner
which is weird because
"you okay?"
"Yeah- just..." I dart my eyes to her 3 brothers half-huddled like hyenas waiting for the carcass to cool
"-my stomach, y'know how it is babe" I smile my weak, pained smile and resist the urge to kiss her on the lower lip, but scritch her hips anyway.
I'm sure nobody's too crazy about any PDA's about now.
A very dense and thick hand claps on my shoulder
here it fucking comes...
"Hey man, you got a second we wanna show you something."
And there's dissapearing girlfriend trick #28.
When accosted by overprotective siblings, reasonable, persuasive and very cute girlfriends were just in your imagination, and won't be back until after a few very uncomfortable hours.
I've sung this song, I've danced this dance... but my stomach just filled with acid and cement.
Felt like I was sloshing in my own shoes.
These guys look like they belong in a Denzel Washington movie.
You know the one- with lots of -subtle- lighting tricks and swearing.
I wonder what kinda bathtub they got...
They stroll me into the garage like a steer about to get pinched. One on each side, the biggest duckwalking me from behind.
So close I can smell their "I haven't showered in 2 weeks, and I wore this shirt last monday" sophistication.
Cheap cigs and pot on their breath.
Just fucking terrific.
But hey, maybe I'll get off easy this time, maybe they'll just insist I light up with them, and have them tell me how it is from lawnchairs and shitty beer.
That hand's back on my shoulder, pushing me onto an overturned bucket.
No such hope for hospitality.
At least its not her dad
is he even here?
"So how long you known my sister?"
"Couple months- said you were her favorite..." or was it the one in prison?
Spider web tattoos on his hands, faded charcoaly ink
fuck
this IS the brother in prison
was it for something stupid or something violent?
"You treatin her right."
"She's got no complaints"
The younger ones are on both sides, I wonder if they know how fast I can uppercut danglybits from this angle- and their posture.
I wonder how fast I can get 2 down and get the door
gee
that's a great way to advance a relationship
hey sweety, I just demolished your brothers' sacks and headbutted the ugly one while strangling and slamming his head in a big bloody soup on your garage's floor
pass the potato salad.
I guess they don't know well enough that numbers never really meant all that much to me-
I remember once I got out of a fight by choking one kid with my legs and biting his head while his friends held me by my arms...
is it getting "out" of a fight if you make people bleed and flee? or just winning?
Whatever- these fucksticks don't even know I've got a plan and its only been 30 seconds of his blathering about "respect" and whatever he says he has planned for my genitals.
I'm hoping its something original this time, but I haven't heard the words acid or smelted bronze...
"you know what"
"what's that ese?"
... seriously? Ese? Am I IN a shitty movie right now?
And yeah, I couldn't help but chuckle right there.
His brothers shuffled.
"You don't know where I've been"
I looked him dead in the eyes, and I could see my reflection
that's the kinda shit a multibillion dollar actor can never get right
that solid crack of thick and skull from a long drop,
years of very
very unpleasant things leaving you something frightfully transparent.
"I've lost more in a night than you could ever take from me, I've rebuilt limbs,-"
I stepped up and kicked the bucket over
"burned histories, I've gone through personal, financial, and imagined hells before you even thought to idolize a shitty rap video and put that greasy beater on for the first time and started callin yourself Rico instead of Richie-
Step back and mind your own fucking business"
I made sure there was some english to that "st" and left a little moisture just above the bridge of his nose.
Punky fat fuck.
I shoulder through the other two
"we're done here."
I put my hand on the knob and step out into a glorius cool summer, nephews and cousins chasing fantastic figments, elders casting the occasional watchful eye over their antics while talking shop of grades and growth spurts.
I find her in a shadey corner, bump her away from a gaggle and put a long slow victorious wet one on those firm smooth lips.
"went well?"
"Your brother's love me."
