Drin's blog: "The Bitch Has Another Blog!!!"

Going to the dentist today!! Yesterday my cheek got so puffed out you would have thought I had stashed nuts in it. Got up this morning, and some of the swelling had gone down. But, now I can actually feel it puffing up more. It's spreading too. They're going to give me antibiotics today, and I'll go back within a week to have the offending tooth yanked. The pain is horrible. No sleep with that kind of pain. And, I'm sure they won't give me anything for it. We'll see.

So, lastnight was different. It was a lot of fun. But, different! Went out for a bit, and was talking to a friend. A lomg time friend came and sat with me and we talked about Chelsey. He's a bullshitter, but loves Chelsey to death. He actually said, and it had to be hard for him, that he thought I was one of the most beautiful women he had ever known. He said it wasn't just the physical, but everything. so, sitting there another friend comes up and hugs and kisses me. Beings we're from a small town in Texas, we hug and kiss as hellos, and rub shoulders. Men were just being very affectionate and loving lastnight. Even ones that have a girlfriend or spouse. One came up from behind me and buried his face in my neck and took a deep breath, and said god you smell good....then kissed me on the top of my head and walked off. I wasn't wearing cologne. I don't know if my pheremones were in over drive or what. Another guy that always kisses me hello and bye, said simply....come here and give me some of that lipgloss!! This being single thing is fun to some extent. Not so fun to another. My phone rang early this morning and it was a guy that I consider a friend. I think he would like more....but I'm not gonna go there. I know he was wanting to go on a dinner date, so I ignored the call. He told me whenever I wanted to go to the races, Galveston, or Florida for the weekend to give him a call.....he's such a nut. Been getting things ready for the babyshower this weekend. Have the little diapers made...need to dip them in wax and make the pacifiers. Time consuming indeed. Chelsey will be home shortly, and will do the pacifiers. She enjoys that kind of stuff. If she isn't going somewhere that is. Anyway...need to get off of here and get supper started. This means I will have to go to the store and get flour. Decided to fry some chicken. It would have been easier to just go out. Love, hugs, and kisses!!

The kid is gone with her boyfriend. Don't expect her back until late this evening. That leaves me here alone as usual. She could care less about dear old mom when she has her boyfriend. My family went to the lake this weekend in Woodville. Love them all, just didn't think it was a trip I needed to make. I don't like people asking a lot of questions about my personal life. And, my family likes to ask questions. I'm the baby of the family, and there are times they still treat my like I'm a kid. I just want to scream sometimes that I am 38 years old!!! Anyway....going to a friends house today. She's having a b-bq and invited several of us over. Not sure how long I'll stay over there, but at least it'll be something to do. I wish it was a little warmer out, but at least it's not raining. I hate wearing a lot of clothes when it looks like it should be really warm, but, it's cold as hell. I'm tired of wearing winter clothes. Time to break out the shorts, and tank tops, and sundresses. So, I screwed up again! I was dating a guy that lived on the bay. That meant lots of time in the sun having fun. But, I wasn't ready for the kind of relationship he wanted. Then when I called him and he griped at me for not calling him. Bad mistake!! I don't like being griped at, especially since the phone calls can go both ways. I hate phones enough as it is. So, I didn't call him anymore, and didn't kiss his ass and e-mail him either. Needless to say that relationship went to hell. But, I'm okay with that. I'm not ready to date just yet. I'm still trying to figure out what I want in a relationship, and trying to heal from the last one. Even though I was the one that broke up with him, doesn't make it hurt any less. So, going to try and figure out what to wear with this weather being like it is.

Yep, that's right....I'm single again!! I miss him, but, what in the hell am I supposed to do? So, I'm having a good time. Hanging out with old friends, meeting new ones. Trying to figure out what I want in life. So, lastnight I went out with a girlfriend. Many of our friends were there.....cowboys and bikers. It was actually a very funny evening. There were problems, but it was all okay. A man asked me to dance and I turned him down. He kept trying to talk to me for a while, then got the hint, that i wasn't interested. That wasn't what I was there for. I just wanted to be away from Liberty and relax. Then half of Liberty was there. Another man I have known since high school was there. He took my hand and said....I see you traded a ring on the ring finger for your middle finger. Told him there were no more rings. I returned those to the man that gave them to me. So, he asked if I could get the wiatresses attention he needed a beer, and I was sitting at the bar. I got him one and paid for it. He asked what he'd have to do to make it up too me, because he didn't like owing people. Told him he didn't owe me jack shit, and I didn't want anything for it. He said well maybe there's something I can do for you.....yea right mother fucker.......not a chance in hell. SO, have been meeting some interesting people. One likes to sniff me, when I walk by. My cologne does something to him. He's funny as hell. Another one is cute as all get out but a little younger than me. We've all been hanging out here and there, or they come to see me at work. And, of course my old friends. I forgot how much fun it was to hang out with them. But, I'm going to have to stop some of that. My daughter is out of control. I can't have a life, because when I try too, she goes hog wild, sneaking out. Found out she had been skipping school a lot. But, I wasn't going out when I found that out. I mean she missed a lot of school!! She was erasing the messages on the answering machine, and getting hold of letters from the school before I could. Incredibly....the school never once tried to reach me at work. And, I know the numbers are on file!! Teenagers!!! She's about to be the death of me. Who wants to be in a relationship with me, when I'm working all of the time, and when I'm off, fighting with my daughter, or up all night looking for her?? I try to keep anyone away from my home because of that. Parenthood is not for the weak hearted!!

I worked my ass off!!! I started some quick pots, and since it was my idea to begin with paid to get in on 3. I won the first quarter, which was $100. I also went in early to get the cooking done. My friends all piled in right behind me, and pretty much pushed me out of the kitchen! I just told them what needed to be done next!!! I adore my friends!! They're the best. We had a wonderful time!! I didn't get out there until 12:30 that night though, and it was my regular day off. But, it's all good!! I'm off this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!!! And, I have loads to do!! Hoping I can get it all done Friday, so I can just lay around in my underwear the rest of the weekend. That would be heaven. What would even be better, is if my daughter would decide to spend a weekend with her father, so i could be alone, and not hear her say how bored she was, or can we go shopping, or can my boyfriend come over!!! That girl hasn't been to see her dad since school started!! I have not had one single day and night to myself since she moved back in. I love her to death, but sometimes I just want to tell her to go away for the weekend, so I can get some much needed rest. I NEED ME TIME!!! CALGON!!!!! So, I haven't seen my stalker around lately!! That guy really creeped me out. I do not like someone knowing every move I make. And, because he was talking to me the whole time i was doing laundry, he now knows what kind of panties I wear!! Anyway.......time for this one to get to bed. Tomorrow is Steak Night which means I won't have a single slow minute tomorrow until I can close her down. And, since it's steak night, that means I have to go in early and get my beer, and liquor orders ready, before all the regulars start coming in, and the cooks and such!! Geez...I'm so glad I have some days coming, that I'll be off. Wish I could spend them in a nice beach house, just relaxing and getting a tan!!

Finally got off of work. Tonight was tough!! There were people freaking everywhere!!! I got so tired of hearing my name called!!! I'd be waiting on several people, and telling people, ok, hold on just one second, and I'll be with right with you. I was so sick of being nice by the end of the night, I was about to explode. Thank god I never lost my temper. Tips were great though. That sure never hurts!!! I did have to tell one guy that if he slapped my ass one more time, he'd be laying on the floor. But, we all had a lot of fun as well. I have these nerf dart guns at work I use on people when they get on my nerves. A bunch of us had one hell of a gunfight. Not to mention....I bought some window paint......it works very well on top of bald heads. I've also noticed how people seem to be pretty picky about MY body!! Several comments were made about my losing weight, and how I shouldn't wear this shirt, i should wear something more fitting, I looked good, I looked hot, I had lost too much weight. I told them all except for the ones that said I looked hot to kiss my ass, that i was the only one going to bed with this body so they didn't need to worry about how much weight I had lost. That was THE wrong thing to say.....cuz, then I had several offers to have bodies laying with this body. Told them all no thanks!! Told them all that I was perfectly fine by myself. At least alone I don't have to hear any whining or bitching!! Anyway.....it's good to be back again!!! And, my friend Jen is on here too!!! Welcome girl, i love ya!!!! Hugs, and kisses to you all!!!!

Whew!!! Been moving into my apartment, and I just have to say that it's taken a while, and my body is hating me right now. Yes, folks...I got an upstairs apartment!! My dumb ass!! Anyway.....just about completely moved now. All I have to get is a dresser and a book shelf. Both of which are too heavy for me to load by myself, and I had no help. Done most of it all by myself. I was supposed to have help moving the last two items, but that didn't happen. Haven't heard from him since he offered. I'm about done with that shit anyway. Always something more important than me, type of thing. I deserve better. Anyway.....picking my girl up tomorrow and she's going to unpack her things while I'm at work. Geez why do we have to bust our asses to get by in life??? Love to you all!!!

Yep....been working my ass off!!! I love my job, and I love the people!! My bosses are wonderful. I had a woman work lastnight so I could be off, and she didn't stock, didn't clean, and didn't do paperwork. But, that was fine...I wasn't working today either. I went in to do paperwork, and helped the guys out some that are working tonight. Drank a couple of beers and came home. Tony is on his way to Austin. He's had something going every weekend since I started working. Well...even before that. But, he took enough time out of his schedule to take my daughter and I to a movie lastnight. I had no clue he was supposed to be going to work that night until we got to the damn mall. And, he wasn't supposed to leave until tonight for Austin. But, of course he left earlier....and I'm sure he took his cousin with him. I'm not stupid. I know he's going there to party. But, he's lying to me about it. I'm not supposed to go to bars without him.......yet he goes once or twice a week for that pool league thing, and now he's going to Austin?? It's fine, because he's not goingto like how things are going to go from now on. I'm sick of the shit. I have a truck I'm usuing now, until my mustang is fixed. I sold it after it got fixed, and the guy traded it in to a mutual friend for a truck. The friend knew how much I loved my old car and has now bought another car, to use parts from to fix my car, and GIVE it back to me. I went earlier to look at the car he bought and it's in perfect condition. So, we'll see what's going ot happen. He just told me he was going to fix my old car and give it a paint job and give it back to me. I can't let him just give it back to me....I'll pay him back come hell or high water. But, I have the truck until he's finished with my car. I don't sit at home unless I want too now. And, I have the money to do what i want now. Which leads me to my next point.....my old apartment is becoming available soon. I loved that apt. And, he said he'd call when they were finished with the new flooring to let me come and look at it and I'd have first call. So, I'm about to have my own place again!!! A vehicle, my own place, a job. My boyfriend thinks it's until the house he's having built is ready....that's not the case. I'm tired of waiting on him. I was supposed to have had a vehicle a while back. But, he always has excuses. I was supposed to move into his house now a while back....always excuses. I'm tired of waiting and I'm tired of excuses. So, I'm making my own plans. If it works out with him....fine....if not fine. It's not like I can depend on him, nor have I. I depend on my own damn self. It just so happens I have friends that love me and that I CAN depend on. And, they know they can depend on me. It's a good thing. I already have my bosses trailer lined up to move me when the time comes too. Oh and yea!!!! I filed my divorce papers Friday!!!! Now, I have to have that asshole sign a waiver, and I'll be divorced close to our anniversary in April!!! Single again!!!! So, as you can see.....I don't need a man that says one thing and does another all of the fucking time. I'm doing well and will continue too, now that I'm able to work again. Also......the guy that does our games and such came in the other day and just stayed until late that night. My boyfriend was in and asked who he was and why he kept staring so much. Then the next day my bosses got me talking about how he just stayed and stayed and that he'd tipped me a good amount. It;s true. Then the secretary said he had a crush on me and that was why he stayed. I finally told them that we had dated in high school, and I had gone out there one day and he was there and we talked and he told me that he still loved me and always had. I told him that maybe he'd come along a little too late the second time around. Well, I'm not a fool!!! He kept hanging around and talking and I'd look up to see if anyone needed a beer and he'd be watching me. He's a nice guy, but lets face it....that was high school, and I personally haven't seen a change in him since high school. He's still just a boy in my eyes. Personally I have no desire to date any man i have met. I thought i had what i wanted......I think I may have been mistaken. My bf actually told me the other night that i was 95% the way he wanted me. All that was left was for me to quit smoking and drinking. I told him that he should find someone else, that I had already given up enough for him. Finally one Saturday night I was able to close up early and wanted to go and see a band that was playing in another bar. But, he had to get up early to help his mom and dad move some stuff. I'm off tonight and another good band was playing, and he left for Austin early. I'm just tired of this shit!!! We only go out when he wants to go out, and we leave when he wants to leave. Basically I have to pitch a damn fit in order to ever get to go and do anything. So, lastnight since my daughter was here he took us to the mall to a movie. I hate going to the movies!!! People talk all the way through it or act stupid. Such as lastnight. My daughter wanted to go into stores he didn't want to go into, and knowing we had to leave right after the movie so he could go back to "work" he had to go look for a certain cd. Took up all of the time, and my daughter wanted to go back to one more store to look at lip rings and he told her she could get one. That would be fine but I had already told her that i was trying to keep as much money as possible for the deposit on my apt., the rent , and deposit on electricity. So, she picked out her lip ring, and I went to pay for it...he tried, but i wouldn't let him. I do not want him coming back and saying well I bought this for your daughter.....no thanks been there and done that shit!!!! I'll just do it myself, or it won't get done at all. Anyway....nuff of that shit!!! You know how you always see in the movies how people spill their guts to a bartender??? Well, I kind of had that happen to me the other night. I know the guy but not that well....and I know who he's dating somewhat. My mistake....I asked if he was taking her to do something special for valentines. Then he stayed for a while while we talked about it all. She was supposed to be in any minute, then she called and from his end of the conversation, I realized she wasn't. We talked a little about that, and I told him that I knew it was no fun to have plans and have them cancelled at the last minute, and for the other person to have no time for you. I think we both decided that night that we were fighting a losing battle. He and I both have in common that we both left our spouses and started dating another right away. Now, he's figuring that maybe he'd be better off without that person. It's been about a year for him, just like me. I don't know what it is..... All, I know, is I don't need a man that has to make time for me. I let mine know that, so he started making more time for me and has rubbed it in every step of the way. I don't need that! I think a lot of the problem is....his cousin that is single moved down here, and wants to go out all of the time, and wants my man to go. I can damn sure guarantee you, that's what he's doing when I'm off....going out with that scum bag. He's going to feel mighty funny, when I walk into the same bar one night that he's in when he's told me that he has to work. And, Monday night it's on!! If I can close the bar down early I damn sure will. He's going to be playing a pool tournament against my ex. My ex has been mouthing something bad. But niether will be expecting me. I just want to see if what i'm hearing is true or not. I've already talked to the other woman whose name has been brought up. I want to see for myself. I've already whipped my exes ass once. But, I really want my divorce papers signed before i do it again. I guess you could just say that I'm sick of it all. I think maybe, just maybe, it's time to start over COMPLETELY. A divorce, a new place to live, my own vehicle. Maybe it's time to just be alone again for a while. I can find myself again, and be the person that is me. As it stands now, I have no damn clue where I am with myself. I have tried to please someone else for so long, that I have forgotten who I was. That can never be a good thing. And, a little bit ago the boyfriend called telling me he missed me and how much he loved me, and how pretty and sexy he thought i was. I told him it sounded like he was trying to butter me up for something, or that he planned on doing something wrong. He just said can't I compliment you. Well, yes he could....but it always follows with something expensive he's bought for himself. Plus....he was supposed to meet his "new boss" Monday, now he's saying it's tomorrow. I'm really beginning to think that he lies so much that he can't keep up with all of them. But, this is the bitch that damn sure can!!! I can only imagine how it's going to go when I have my own place. He's going to be one hot mother fucker when he can't get hold of me then. Maybe he should know how it feels to try and call and get voicemail all fucking night long. It's always...well I don't have service, or I didn't hear the phone ring. I think it's time to do like I've done the rest. Tell them I'm working, and go and check things out. Supposedly he's been staying with his parents because his house got flooded and it's still not finished. He told me at the time it was supposed to be getting finished up to not get an apt. that the house was almost finished and it would be ready for me to move in. It was always two weeks. Well, I quit asking....it's been months now. So, all of a sudden he tells me I need to get my divorce. So, I surprise that ass and tell him i filed and he was just floored. Now, we'll see what he's going say. What ya want to bet it's going to be well lets wait until it's final. And....when i went shopping for Valentines.....I found 2 receipts. Now, i know what i got wasn't $233.00. He had two for jewelry and I got one. Don't think I'm stupid. I'm just waiting to bust his ass, to let the other woman know. Do not fuck with me.....been there and done that, and managed to make their lives a living fucking nightmare before I was done. I will do the same again!! And, he really needs to remember everything he's told me that can come back to haunt him. Hell....going to listen to music now.....need a break!!!

I'm just saying......I had a friend tell me this. I love ya man!!!! But, you cannot make me believe that shit!!! I would REALLY like the whole happiness and bullshit thing.....First off...I do not deal well with bullshit!!! And, because I don't deal well with bullshit, that is exactly what I'm going to have to learn how to deal with once again!!! Yes.....I took another job at a bar. Something I did not want to do at all. But, when no one is calling you to work.....you have to do something. So, I start in a few hours. You see....I finally realized, that no matter what any person tells you, you just cannot trust them! You want too...but, eventually you just can't do it anymore! Such as life!!!!

I'm about to go to bed.... alone....once again.....!! Seems like I need to re think my situation!! I mean really....there are some reasons to get over it.....but......there are reasons not too. Actually....I'm feeling pretty lonely these days! And, if this is the way I feel....then exactly where does he fit in the picture?? For instance.....I'm sitting there, and you flirt all night with a skank. Where does that leave us?? I can tell you!!! It leaves us to the point that you're no longer in my life! If a man of mine, in front of me, feels like he has to make a statement, such as hanging all over another woman.....then perhaps he should be ready for me to whip his ass!! He wants her.....he can have her!! Night!!!!