So, not too many people on here know about my dad. Actually, very few. Any who, if you know me at all, you know I hold nothing back. I tell it like it is and I'm not afraid to share my personal information with the public. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
On that note, I want to elaborate a little on my sperm donor. My dad is a very bad diabetic who doesn't watch what he eats, half of the time forgets his insulin, drinks entirely too much pop (soda for you west coasters), etc. He bounces in and out of the hospital all of the time with no care in the world. Well yesterday around 9am I get a call from my mom saying that my dad called her and he's really sick. Ok, what the hell do you want me to do about it? I'm still at work! (I get off around 9:15 or so, so it wasn't long until I was leaving.) I called my dad and asked him what was wrong and his blood sugar was up over 400, he hadn't eaten in 2 days and couldn't keep anything in his stomach, not even liquids. At this point, he has to go to the hospital, I know that, but being that I had JUST got off of work, had only 2 hours of sleep and hadn't eaten anything in almost 24 hours, I was cranky and tired and hungry. Does anyone care? Nope. I get the luxury of going to my dad's to rescue him while his "girlfriend" stays at home and sleeps. Lovely. This wasn't the worst of it. When I get there, he's very weak and can barely dress himself, so I gotta do that for him. He can't stand up, so I gotta help him walk. I probably should have called an ambulance and let them take him, but oh well, too late now I guess. Thennnnnn he made me mad cause he lives like 4 blocks from a hospital, but would he go there? Nope. He wanted to go to the one that was 15 miles away. I took him in his car, so his gas and everything, but still. So we get there and he's about to pass out so I go inside and get a nurse and a wheelchair to get him in and they take him back right away and all well then the twat of a male nurse that was in there was making me mad. They wanted to put an IV into my dad but couldn't because he had a temp. of 101.7 degrees and he kept tensing up. Would they get him a blanket? Hell no. The nurse is almost yelling at my dad to relax.. well damn, if you're laying there about to pass out and freezing at the same time, aren't you gonna tense up? I would. I asked the nurse to get him a blanket so he could warm up a little bit and the nurse told me no. Excuse me, oh no, that crap don't fly with me. So I went and found the person in charge (can't think of the direct name for them at this point) and I reamed him a new ass. Needless to say, he got a blanket and then he was able to relax.
So by this point, it's like almost 12 noon and I gotta leave cause I gotta go to work. I told my dad this and he's like "ok bye". Not one f'ing thank you, not an I love you, nothing. I go down and rescue him and don't even get a thank you? That's BULLSH!T!! This man has done nothing but cause me pain all of my life. I think I have another blog on him somewhere around here. *looks through blogs*. I don't know, anyways, I bust my ass to try and do everything I can to keep him from dying and he doesn't appreciate it. I'm tired of being used. He's slowly killing himself and there's gonna become a time when I just can't be there. Then what's he gonna do? His girlfriend don't really care, my mom says that he's not her responsibility, and all of his other family either lives far away or he doesn't talk to, so who does that leave? Me. I'm not gonna be around forever. Hopefully in the next few months to a year I can find a place other than Western PA to live. I hate this place. Then he's screwed.
So, I've realized that really none of this pertains to the title of this blog. In order to make this blog make sense, let me explain. My dad has never been a father to me. He cheated on my mom since day one of their marriage, and he left us when I was about 4. His girlfriend was always more important than I was. He never had time for me. When I got old enough to realize what he was doing (around 12 years old or so), I wrote him off completely. I talked to him as little as possible, didn't see him for months and months at a time, etc. He was always making me promises that he had no intention of keeping, and even as of recent, for my birthday, he did it again. He promised me that for my 21st birthday he would get me a tattoo that I really wanted. It was going to cost around $100, which isn't TOO bad. Well, 2 days before my birthday he calls me and says "I can't come up with the money, I bought concern tickets for me and Martie". Martie is his girlfriend, if you didn't figure that out. Needless to say, I was BEYOND pissed off. He promised me for months and months that he would get it, and 2 days before he bailed. So, why do I still help him do you ask? I couldn't tell you. He's nothing more to me than a sperm donor. I do not love him. Although, when he dies (which I'm sure will be soon with how things are going), I'm going to be upset. I couldn't tell you why though. How can you be upset at something you don't care about? Obviously deep down I do care a little bit, but eh, I don't know. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who has had a no-good father, but it does hurt.
All in all I guess I just have to sit and watch my.. umm.. father.. kill himself. He knows what he's doing and like I said before, he doesn't care. He doesn't care who he hurts. He doesn't care who he leaves behind. I guess you could call me the pot (the pot calling the kettle black). I've said stuff in the past to which I didn't care, but my situation is a bit different, in a way. It's not right of me to do, I'm aware of that. Maybe I'm just losing my mind...........
