Tonight I went out to the bar with my best friend and got a little toasted. As a matter of fact I am just a little loaded right now. I just got dropped off here at home.
I felt the immense need to get on here and just spill my guts.
I have loved someone for such o long time, someone that I know I can only have with restrictions. This person is the most beautiful person I have ever known. When I look into this persons eyes I see the world. I see love, friendship, companionship, honesty, trust, sincereity (excuse the spelling I told you I have been drinking), kindness, softness, and just mind altering warmth. I see the person that makes me always feel like I can do no wrong when I am around them.
My entire heart and soul is in love with this individual. This person thinks they know how much I love them but I don't show it all because I know a future for us isn't to be. I respect this person so much that I would never ever over step the bounderies that I know is there in this persons heart. I know this person loves me as a dear close friend with possible benefits but I know there will never be anything more. I live with this because when you truely love someone with this much of your being, it isn't about you! Its all about them. You enjoy ever minute you get to hear their voice, to see their face, to even be in their thoughts for a second is a wonderful feeling. There is nothing else in the whole world like it excepting maybe the way a mother feels about a child.....I mean it is that all consuming.
This person knows to some extent how I feel but I truely don't believe they know how deep it truely is. I would give my eternal soul to give this person anything they wanted or needed, even at the cost of my being.
I think this person may read this and that is ok, but I don't ask for any changes just because I have put it out there a little more than before! All I ask is that this person enjoy ever moment of life there is and I wish the greatest amount of pleasure this world of ours has to offer.
I feel so good when I see a smile of contentment or pleasure on this persons face. I cry when they are sad or hurt. I want to die for them whenever life has put more on them than they can endure, just so they can go on without any pain and the world would still get the benefit of having such an individual on this earth. I enjoy seeing the love that this person instills in others. I enjoy this persons essence. There is absolutely nothing in this earth about this person that I don't absolutely admire and love with every fiber of my being........EXCEPT ONE THING........this person doesn't believe they are as wonderful as they truely are. I see the way the world reacts to this person. This person radiates love, it seeps from the pores, everyone jumps to be able to just be around this person even if for just a fleeting moment.
My complete self will never stop feeling this way even though I won't have this person as mine except as friends (as stated above). I will be content with that because this person never deserves drama or anything negative. They only deserve the best of the best!
I hope you have read this, "you know who you are", because I really feel exactly this way about you. I want for you nothing but happiness forever and would do anything within my power to help you achieve it, even if I am not the one to spend forever with you. I will continue to love you forever like only God Almighty understands. I will never leave your side as long as you'll have me as a friend. I will always have your back!
~I love you more than words could ever explain!~
