Manders's blog: "Something New"

well, it has obviously been a while since ive been on here. finally found out what was wrong with my back, i have degenerative disc disease and spondylolisthesis, <-- (is where the arms of the vertebra have broken off)so everything from T11 to S1 is fusing together...whatta joy HUH? also on top of all that, last week i found out that theres a problem with my thyroid so i have to go see a specialist next wednesday...lost my job yesterday because of lack of attendance for being "sick all the time" and that i should "focus on taking my national, and re-apply in a few months" so i had the brain wave of just saying fuckit and start up my own business, i have been putting it off since i left school and knew i should have done it right then and there. i can make my own hours and work when i want to. unfortunatly richard has given me 2 weeks to get this set up, and if i havent started getting clients in the next 2 weeks he wants me to go apply at La Bella Day Spa, i guess one of his friends wives is the asst. manager there and can probably get me in. but then its back to the same thing of, working when someone else wants me to INCLUDING weekends at 25 bucks an hour when i could be making 40 on my own and not have to work weekends. i noticed that when i was working everyday for America's Massage and having sunday and tuesday off, that i was spending less and less time at home with richard and mikayla (when she was home)and the whole reason i got into massage was so that i could work my own hours and still have time to spend with my family. So all this means is come friday i need to bust my ass and start sending out fliers and handing out business cards to everyone and their brother and start building up clients. i know theres a few from where i was working at that have my home number and once they find out im not there anymore will call and set up appts. but it wont be nearly enough to survive on or pay bills with. so we shall see what happens, i pray that this business will fly and will be enough clients to support the family in case richard gets laid off for whatever reason.the ultimate goal is to have enough client base that richard doesnt have to work as hard as he does. well thats it for now, i will blog again tomorrow if i remember..theres more shit i need to get off my chest... have i mentioned how much i like this site? no one i know is on here, and i can blog just about anything i feel like and the only ones that read it are complete strangers lol have a wonderful day!

Well, been a while on my end for blogging so heres an update. Well WAS pregnant when i wrote the last blog in November...On thanksgiving richard and i went to the ER..had a miscarriage. total bummer. I think i am finally getting over it, i still get things in the mail about ultrasounds, and pregnancy magazines which i had unsubscribed to a few months ago.. so i dont know wtf...but when i get them in the mail i dont have a complete breakdown (which is a good sign)I did go back to school i have about 21 hours left of my internship and for some reason i just cant seem to get thru my hours...if its not one thing its another. like something is purposfully holding me back. i skipped out of work early on friday due to massive back pain. went to the chiro and he said that i had a lateral shift of my spine, and POSSIBLY a herniated disc. well that would account for all the pain i have been having. since i thought i only threw my back out. so get to go back to the chiro tomorrow, and possibly go to the regular doc to get xrays of my back and see what is really going on there. but until then i am under strict orders of taking it easy. if i feel like working go for it, if my back is still hurting stay home. well it only hurts when i forget to take my pills...or think that i will be okay all day with out taking them. as long as i keep myself medicated on vicodin or percocet the pain is less. so today my friend is going to do an ice massage on me, which isnt the most comfortable massage (from what i remember from when i was taking classes and the one and only time i got an ice massage)which i have to admit is nice having a best friend who is also a massage therapist...saves me lots of money when i need a massage lol....simple trade out. As for shit going on around the house, Richard got transfered to another job site on friday, started today...which thank God he went and talked to the President of the union he works for because he was due to be laid off...and when it rains it pours...repo guy came almost a week and a half ago to repo our new truck (ask richard and he will say HIS truck lol) so we've been havin to drive my POS 85 ranger around getting slight carbon monoxide poisoning...hopefully as of tomorrow that will change...looking at buying a 99 Saturn from a guy he works with...i told him we might as well give up the truck and deal with it later when they take us to court...just for the here and now get out from under a 500 dollar a month truck payment...he finally agreed. so between the truck being repo'ed and the possability of him losing his job...it has been (needless to say) a very stressful two weeks. and im glad that the stress if finally going away. lol well percocet is kicking in finally gonna go lay down, hope y'all have a wonderful day

okay so i originally started on my cherry so that i could have a place that was my own that no one knew about and i could write *figurativly speaking* down my thoughts. Well here it is the 15th of November, been married for a little over 2 months. I am happy as can be...however i am having all these sypmtoms of being pregnant. i am a few days late and totally spazing out. this will be my second if i am. my husband seems to be happy as a clam this will be his first. i have a drs appt on monday to find out for sure because stupid home pregnancy test has a faint line in the positive area...and i dont trust those stupid things all too much, when the last time i was pregnant i had to take 4 of the damn things 2 said neg. 1 no control line and finally the fourth said positive. so here we are once again down this road and i am having mixed emotions about the whole thing. yes this is something that we BOTH wanted first and foremost!! but thinking about it and actually doing it (so to speak) are two completely different things. there is so much going on right now, we are planning on moving into a house in less than 2 weeks, i just got my daughter back on a semi fulltime basis from my parents *which that in and of itself is a long story* just seems like maybe this isnt the right time...but who really plans on these things happenig anyway, right??? Im not exactly sure why i am freaking out so badly, its not like this is a horrible thing, its a total gift from God and maybe this time i will do things right. just some thoughts....

I am currently on Yahoo 360..but i figure since no one knows me here, i can blog things that i cant on yahoo...so we shall see where it leads Cheers!