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I started posting my poetry in my "dunno" stash, feel free to run by there and read/rate them... i was getting yelled at because blogs can only be rated once... i will be moving these from here into the stash as well later on this week, only the NSFW's will remain/be posted in this blog
There's a second me inside of me this second, of course, only you and i see. she's in a black box, curled up and crying. she knows, this second me, that part of her is dying. lying in the dark, afraid and alone, she wonders why even in bed she wishes she were home. she wonders why she's alive, with all her days filled with sadness, wondering how to survive, in this emotional madness. she wipes tears from her eyes, realizing with dread, her hands are coated in blood, this second me is dead.
fear runs through me deeper than it hath before fears of love fears of loss can you taste the sweetness of the nectars of heaven and break yourself from the source or must you then drink forever though temptation be corrupt and shall, indeed, murder you in your lust if the pain of corruptivity is the sweetness shall you endure or break in fear my pain entwines my sweetness that look in your eyes though it maketh the tears begin to flow from mine own is none other than that which makes my body shiver in complete desire.
you say you love me don't question yourself i am not ready that's me, not you you ask what's left what can't i say you say nothing's changed i've changed it's easy to be faithful no on tests your fatih i say i love you do you question me i would, were i you but i don't i feel more than before i don't apologize for it... what i've done i apologize to you for what i've done to you i did not lie i did not lie i want you to believe but were i you, i wouldn't thought i'm not, so i do can you blame me? say yes, i ask you i beg of you if yes is truth... i told you i fear commitment i did not lie i did not lie i say i love you do you question me? say yes, i dare you end this now ask me to escape with you a: you are not there b: you are not escape you cannot escape life with love you cannot escape love with life ask me why can you see it? the answers they swim for hours in my skull i let them not escape why? i did not lie i did not lie you say you love me do you question yourself? answer yourself not me i did not ask not for me i did not lie i did not lie can you forgive forget in forgiveness nothing changed can you say that again without lying forgive me, love for i have sinned against thee forgive not the act forgive me i did not lie i did not lie.
i say i love you and maybe i believe it maybe it's true maybe i just think it has to be said i don't see myself falling in love i'm scared hold me close to your heart as i push you away from mine can you hear the sound of my voice as i run from yours i'm lost... i'm scared... you say you love me and i guess i believe it maybe it's true maybe you just feel it has to be said i don't see myself the object of love i'm confused... i'm lost... i'm scared... help me, and don't let me go as i throw you to the ground on your knees can you look into my eyes as my gaze drops from yours i'm hopeless... i'm confused... i'm lost... i'm scared can you blame me?
you make me laugh you are there always you worry too much you don't cry enough you open my eyes and you showed me you showed me love you showed me understanding you showed me that someone still cares you showed me everything i had to live for you showed me concern you showed me laughter you showed me that things get fucked up sometimes you showed me it's ok i'll continue to love you, anyway
can you hurt me as i have hurt you you know not the deed but it knows you the back of my head is being nailed to a cross i provided you want to touch my silky hair but whose fingers last ran through it you want to stroke my body but who last touched it i defile our relationship and blindly you pour heart soul body into a bloody cup where crystal water used to stand.
how i wish i could hold you now i'd give anything to see you to hear your voice to touch your skin to kiss your soft lips i want to look into your eyes that stability, the desire, sensitivity child like innocence, knight like romance the passion and gentility the fears, the love the happiness and a tear i'm so far away yet our love burns together heavensent, heavensent tis what you are could anything else be so beautiful anything else be so kind i want you more than ever tonight i need you to know how much i care for you my heart is yours i pray you keep safe that which you've taken
She screamed deafening sound beautiful as music she felt tremors in her voice she screamed louder even more enchanting a ghost invisible yet plainly in sight she let out her shock horror and life in this music the symphony that was her voice struck its final cord
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13 years ago
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