fubar

Timmy, I am here to tell you why you shouldn't drink and dance. See, your friends might be doing it and it might seem cool but then, after your fourth tequila shot you are wearing high heels (we all know you've wondered about women's shoes and accept that about you) and you slip on the slippery decorative tile around your friend's pool and you fall butt first almost dragging your husband in there with you and break your right foot and your dignity is forever bruised and you have to spend six frigging weeks laid up in a couch because you didn't listen to the damn doctor and didn't use your crutches and thus caused a simple lil' hairline fracture to deteriorate further and land you even more boring bed/couch/keep your foot elevated rest.