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LORD VENOMOUS's blog: "Realizations.."

created on 06/03/2009  |  http://fubar.com/realizations/b298124

I have been alive for 49yrs 10mos and 12days I have seen people I loved and care for die and most of my mentors 

have passed on. I had so many chances to better myself but for so many REASONS/EXCUSES I simply have not.

I wasted this life with all my fancy hopes and dreams and now in a decade of so I will simply cease to exist.

I have had too many jobs to count hoping that the NEXT ONE will be my CAREER job that I work till I get that

retirement part and that cool gold watch. I doubt this is gonna happen. I am NOTORIOUS at being the GOOD GUY

but its really true good guys do finish last, especially this one.

I am there but you are the one that yes's me to death not even really noticing that I do exist, its like this for everyone I kno

Family friends, everyone.

I do my best to make an impact to show you I care, it simply doesnt work. I know why some people Kill themselves now

but for me that just isnt isnt an option, I will just keep trying.

and then one day I will simply cease to be and noone will even notice

It's amazing when you get to a certain age and realization kicks in, I'm 48 and 60 is really not that far away, Over half of my life is over.

I would like to say that I'm all excited about the "Future" but I'm not, I mean what do i have to look forward to? Diapers? walkers? Death?

I really feel like I wasted my life fuckin around so much of it, Not givin a shit alot of it. I'm not proud of some of the things i have done but I'm not ashamed either.

I wish I went to college like I wanted to, joined the air force, became that comicbook artist I always wanted to be, but i was lazy, always puttin off till tomorrow, well tomorrow has came and went.

 

 

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