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AngL's blog: "Random *B* Babble"

created on 11/09/2007  |  http://fubar.com/random-b-babble/b152135
Before you read this, please know that I am not meaning to offend anyone, or cause any problems... this is just my personal opinion. A friend told me tonight that the world needed a change. That people shouldn't just accept that there are those that aren't going to listen and change because we want them to understand something that is important to us and to others. He stated that he would stand up and fight for what he believed in and that someone that made "ignorant" comments about something that that person didn't believe in or understand is wrong for it. I agree to some level that this is true. He and I argued about this... so I am going to ellaborate on my point of view. Under the same pretense that he is arguing with this "ignorant" person for their remarks, they are doing the same back to him. The other person is going to stand for what they believe in, which is different than my friend. (If I lose you on this subject, I am a little tired but have to get it off my chest.). I believe it works like this... as much as I would love peace, joy and harmony in the world... there are too many differences in society and cultures and how we raise our children to have this. Here is how I look at it. I was raised to believe that all people, no matter what, are the same. We all bleed the same. This is referencing many aspects of life and society. No matter your color, money, heritage, medical history or condition, culture, lifestyle, bloodlines, no matter what your name is or how its pronounced, or anything, we are all the same on the inside. We have the same body make up... a heart that pumps the blood through the body to survive, a brain to function and operate all parts of the body. We are the same. The difference we have is in the way we are raised and what we are taught to believe in as right and wrong. Whether its the parents, society, babysitter, television, music, literature, and so on... everything that we use can be the turning point on how we end up as adults. If we are taught to hate, then that is what we will more than likely do. Not all, but the odds are greater than not. Once those values are instilled into a mindset, it takes more than others to change it. The person has to want to change their opinion, or what they believe in. They have to come to the determination on their own. So what you or I may think is "wrong" for a person to say, may be all the more right to the person speaking it. I personally have my own problems that if I put them out there, I am sure that someone will remark to the "negative" for that is what they are believing to be right. I cannot fault them entirely, but I can agree that somethings should just be left alone and comments and remarks shouldn't be spoken unless you know what you are talking about. The old Golden Rule... If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all should be reminded sometimes... I can talk about a lot of things. I have had a lot of personal life experiences that I have had to learn from. I believe in the advocacies that promote awareness for these. At the same time, I dont know if I should put them all out there. Some are just too personal... and what is good for some, isn't good for all. Not everyone will agree with everyone. That is just a fact of life. If you can put the information out there for someone to have the chance to learn about something, then yes, do it. Put it out there to educate those that want to learn about it, and have it available for those that dont want to learn now, but may in the future. With Love To ALL!!! AngL

No Title...

Life has a way of doing things to each of us to make us better people. It will test you relentlessly to see how you react, how you handle the situation and deal with all rewards and consequences. I live with those each day in my life. I try to live and learn, and sometimes, its hard to deal with. I have a lot of respect for those of you who can pass all tests that life has to offer. On many, I have failed and there will be more. I am dealing with a big test right now. Cross your fingers I pass this one. ;) I tend to react without thinking, and speak out before thinking. I have always done that. That will never change about me. There are so many things about me that I cannot change, and there are things about me that I have changed in the past years. Some of which changed after signing up on this site. A few people may have noticed some of changes. Most were for the good, some have been just to tighten up my heart to keep it from being hurt. (funny how things like that work out). I am the first to admit any of that. I know my downfalls... but do you? There are so many things about me that most of you don't know... and probably will never know as I don't get into to many things about my personal life on this site... and there is a reason for that. I have been hurt by more people that have claimed to be my friends on here than I have in my entire life in the real world. People on here, and I know this is the internet... so don't give me that line about it... but some people on here, whom I thought and over time grew to believe that they were genuine, were just really good actors. I guess that is my fault for looking for the good in all of us no matter how careful I am and realistic I can be about the internet persona of many. I know people aren't always what they seem. I know I am not as I am seen by many. Why should it matter? Because in the end, most people still have a heart, still feel things, no matter how hard they try to hide it. People get hurt by words on here. It doesn't matter that they are typed... words can still hurt. I try to give all the benefit of the doubt. I tend to be as friendly as I can be to all. No matter if they "downrate" (which is ridiculous that people feel that way), have a different attitude than they do, or whatever... to me, all people deserve to be treated with some level of respect. No matter what pics they put up, no matter if they are self proclaimed "point whores" or "RED NAME SEEKERS" or if they are in a relationship and flirting or different color or race or anything that would make them different to you, each person... has the right to be treated with some level of respect. Just because a person puts up provacative pics or seems to be friendly... how does that make them a cunt, or a whore, or a bastard or asshole or bitch. It doesn't. I am usually the person that looks at life in the most pesimistic way possible. I have always hoped for the best, but planned for the worst. I have even expected the worst. How is it, that I, knowing how I look at things in my own life, can look at a person and look for the good, and give that benefit and try to get to know them by talking with them... just chatting about anything and the average person, will look at something and make assumptions about a person? Why do people do that? I don't understand it, and I never will. I never expect to either, and yet I still look forward to meeting people. I have said many times that I was not looking for a relationship. Truth be told... I WASN'T LOOKING FOR ONE!!! I have also said many times in the same conversations, if it happens, if that special someone can enter my life, pick up the millions of pieces of my heart and mend them all together again, that he would have my heart. I didn't look for anyone to do that. I didn't ask for anyone to do that. So, when Always Hope picked up the pieces and put them together again, and I gave him my heart, how does that make me a "cunt"? Can you believe that someone would do that? In ways, I can. In ways, I can't. I don't understand how happiness finding me causes me to be a cunt. I really don't care about it, but please, think about it. I have told most everyone that would talk to me, regularly, that if it found me, I would let it happen. Man you should have read that Private Message. I think many things of myself, but being a "cunt" wouldn't be on the list. I do believe I am a bitch, I do believe that I am many things both good and bad. When a person finds happiness, be it with yourself or someone else, what right does a person have to even care? I don't know. I know this is the internet, I know that there are things that are so fake about people on the internet, but I would like to think that there is some level of good in each of us. As negative as I think, if I can think that way about a complete stranger, couldn't you? I will always cherish my true friends. Those that are willing to stand by me through all of the aspects of my life as I would stand by them within their life. That is what a "FRIEND" is about, or so I have always thought. With Much Love To All... AngL

Unanswered Prayers...

In many ways, I look to the past to help find my way through the present and into the future. The past is a doorway for me. Its my way of pushing my way through the trials and tests that life has for me. I always love looking at life from different angles and looking from outside that box. I may not always see what life has in store or what the intention was of something, but I try. :) In my past, I have prayed for things to go a certain way in my life. And time and time again, even as recent as several months ago, things never went that way. I remember feeling that when I fell in love, that that was all that I wanted. I wanted it to be my everything (minus my kids who are number 1 always). I tried to make it that way and then things didn't quite work out that way. It tore me up inside. Tore my heart into millions of pieces and I will never forget the feelings that went through me after all of that. I remember saying that I would never fall in love again because of the pain. That I would never look for another relationship or set myself up to be hurt again. With all that being said... I am thankful that some prayers go... "unanswered". Had things not worked out wrong for me (wrong at the time) and had things not played out as they had, I would have never met the man that makes me feel so happy, so wanted and desired, so warm, so loved... he is an awesome man... and he is "MINE"!!! I am sorry that things didn't go as planned... planned for my past loved ones and myself... but life has its way of doing things that we may never quite understand why to make sure things happen as they should. To the man that I loved... and wanted to be with so badly, I am thankful for a friendship that could be salvaged from our past, and saddened that things didn't quite work out as planned or wanted for the both of us, and to the man that I love... I am thankful for our paths crossing at the right time. Know that I am yours. :) Photobucket With all this babbling... only a few will understand the whole meaning behind this. This blushy randomness babble... is just from my heart, in a time that I know I can smile and face the world and all the mountains and valleys it has to offer. To those that don't quite know where this came from or where it will go... you had to be there!!! ;) With love to All!!!! ~AngL~ Photobucket

Be Back In A Few Days...

Hey everyone.. I am not going to make this all pretty or dazzlin'... just wanted to say.. sorry I haven't been online... (although i think my internet kept me logged in for the most part)... i had my laptop shut and in the bag now for about 2 days... I have company now... and will have more company through the weekend. My internet time will be EXTREMELY LIMITED if I am able to get on at all... if that is possible.. it will be for a few minutes only.. Please bare with me while I am away... I promise I will be back and I will catch up on all the luv left behind... :) Thank you all... With Much Love To All... ~ AngL ~

This says it all.. :)

I "borrowed" this from a friend of mine... he had this on his myspace page.. and I just love it! :) Thanks "DD"... sorry I didn't get a chance to ask you before taking it... I hadn't seen you online... Anyway, I think this says a lot.. "The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. Henry Miller "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ---Dr.Seuss" With Love To All... *AngL

First Kiss!!

I had a seriously weird dream last night when I slept a few hours... it was about a first kiss. I don't mean it in the way of a persons first kiss ever, but the first kiss that you have with your partner or potential partner. This dream, was of a man that I couldn't see, he was one of those "man in my dreams" kind... where you know he is real, but you can't see the face or you don't know the name. Well, he was in mine last night and it felt as if I knew him, for some time, that really comfortable feeling you have being around those that you have surrounded yourself with for months and months or years... Well, the dream went a little like this... I was stanging there in the cold night, staring at the stars in the sky when he steps up in front of me, whispers to me... "Can I help keep you warm?"... and before I could answer, he slid his hands around my waist and pulled me close. He leaned down and gently kissed my neck. Between his lips on my skin and his breath caressing my neck, i shivered. A wonderful warm feeling overwhelmed me. He looked into my eyes and gently kissed me. From the gentleness of the kiss it turned into passion. It was an awesome feeling. A feeling that in all the "first kisses" I have had... this one seemed to last forever. A "first kiss" so perfect, that its uncomparable to any kiss I have had in my entire life. I am not sure if this dream is just that... a dream from the romantic side of me that wants to believe that there is someone out there for me and that he is close to me... but I just don't know it yet, or is it just that... a dream to remind me that love stinks and does nothing but hurt a heart that has so much to give and offer a man. I was wondering though... if you have ever had that knock your socks off "first kiss" that is still stuck in your head after all those years since... ??? Tell me your story if you like, but I was just curious... :) With Love To All... *AngL*
Two Choices What would you do? You make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice? At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?' The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.' Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.' Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay' Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!' As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team. 'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'. Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day! AND NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces. If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.' So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process? A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them. You now have two choices: 1. Delete 2. Forward May your day, be a Shay Day.

Another Awesome Poem! :)

This guy.. is soooooo sweet.. a wonderful friend. :) Thanks Rabbit... He put this in my profile comments... :) *hugs* He has so many awesome poems in his blogs... check him out, his link is at the bottom of this! :) A Love Like No Other I never felt a love Like this before It's a love like no other Something I have always hoped for A love with friendship Humour and heart A bond so strong It would never part A love that makes you smile From ear to ear A love that is joyful Without any fear A love that is beautiful From the inside out A love with no tears, Pain, or doubt A love with soul So tender and true A love that I have found Only in you... just something I wrote Rabbit Read my poetry they r in blogs Rate fan and add me
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@ fubar With Love To All *AngL*

He Strikes Again!! *hugs*

Another one in my mail... This guy ROCKS!!! :) As snowflakes fall Dotting the ground With sweet love I can here voices Of Kids In the distances Tossing laughter skyward As I look ahead One thing is for sure Your beauty is just As rare as a snowflake can be Sometimes you wonder Why people do what they do But there is no wonder In that beautiful Smile Of yours I will end this Poem with this Last thought Always smile Because everyone Is watching Eve if their Not beside you Have a great day! ken7700
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@ fubar With Love To All *AngL*

Just Thinkin' Out Loud... :)

Wow... its already 17 days into the New Year. I am already looking forward to taxes, weekend getaways, time with my kids, and so much more. So far, this year, has kicked off to a great start. Going to Biloxi and New Orleans that very first weekend. Planning another trip there for the summer time with and with out the kids. Trying to find a good time to go to Savannah, GA. Just so much I wanna do to get away, better my kids for it and with it. Experiences that will last a life time and then some. I was talking to my family the other night and everyone wants to get together for my grandfathers birthday this November. He will be turning 80 years old. My family from Germany will be flying in and the rest of us will be driving to FLORIDA! Woot! Woot! They are still trying to decide on Orlando, Tampa, Panama City or Ft Walton Beach area. I told them, who cares... the point is... to be together! They never listen to me. :) Anyway, I am just trying to decide on where I wanna go next. My next weekend getaway... Should it be... Savannah? Gatlinburg? Panama City? Myrtle Beach? Charleston? Choices, Choices... If you have a suggestion... let me know.. I am trying to maybe go in March maybe early April. Gotta get back to work... :) With Love To All *AngL*
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