HappilyConfused's blog: "Ramblings of a mixed up mom LOL"

See you smiling every day hide the way I feel, want to tell you everything but my lips are sealed, loving you with all my heart but you will never know, feelings for you are locked away hope they never go, I never cease to be amazed how wonderful you look, now my heart will suffer in silence because of the chance I never took.

I just wanted to let all my friends know that I will be leaving CT for awhile... I'm not going to give any reason as to why because for one, it's personal.... If you want to stay in touch with me, send a private message and I will give you my contact info... I will check back in for the next few days just to check messages... Please everyone, take care of yourself.. Most of all, don't be afraid to do something.. do it anyway if it really means that much to you. Love & hugs to all... Dee

Up on top a mountain, over looking a running brook, a little log cabin stands alone, smoke billowing through the pines. I envision sitting there before a burning fire, eyes closed in dreams. The simple life with only calm and solace in my soul. I can hear the sound of the running brook as it flows over the rocks, the sound of a chickadee responding to an owl's screech. In my vision, I can see an old rocking chair, and yes, there's me, my crocheting in my lap and a kitten at my feet, I rock and rock. A little log cabin up on the mountain top, brook running below, this peaceful vision, I will never see, nor that rocker be me. Muted colors of browns, orange and greens, with splashes of blue, this painting on my wall is the closest to that life I will see.

the wind is blowing, the birds are chirping, the smell is sweet, and my heart is beating, can you, really can you help me now your soul interwined with mine and carried it to a hidden paradise, unmistakablely true how the sky now turns to majestic shades of blue. your touch your touch shakes me as hard as an earthquake, your words, oh your words create an unbreakable force field to shield my heart from pain. rain rain never falls here, looking in your eyes is soaring through heaven for all eternity, how do I know this is you, oh I see it is the way the birds sing harmoniously when they see your face, it is the way the stars shine brightly as if they were the sun, it is the way my soul longs for you so, you are here for me, my soul mate, listen to my night call, Listen, Listen, Can you hear me calling, Can you follow it's sound?

What's the definition of perfection? Is it possible to be that defined? Does perfection even exist at all? Is it beauty and compassion combined? Maybe perfection is insincere, There to alienate each other, Perfection is the untouched dwelling, A beauty in all its splendor. Can I be perfect for you? An unscathed image so still, Will you love me better? Do you feel what I can feel? I want to be your perfection, I want to be entirely divine, To wake and make you smile, Your early morning sunshine.

Paint me a Picture of a love unrefined. One that is simple with no complications inside. Show me the way to become what it should be. Give me the answers that I so simply seek. Paint me a picture of love. So simple & True. Tell me how and what to do. Allow me the chance to do it all right, Allow me the freedom and allow my heart to fly. Day upon day, I reach for that love. I see the whole big picture and all the colors of that love. Still it seems distant and always out of reach. The picture that once was so simple is now, many colors and beyond my reach.

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handywoman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus".

I can’t explain how I feel about him, But his heart I have to win. It’s funny how he’s so far away, but just to hear his voice would make my day. He’s always what I think about, And his love I can’t go without. Why does it have to be like this? It’s him that I always miss. Even though he’s so far away, I would go there and want to stay. I've come to know him so well. It’s like I got caught in a love spell. But who knows what this really is? Just please make me the one and only of his.

Have you ever been around someone and just couldn't think? Have you ever been around someone lips, soft as a rose's pink? Have you ever been around someone heart as vast as the open sea? Have you ever been around someone together forever you wish to be? Have you ever been around someone into their eyes you gaze? Have you ever been around someone piercing the soul like the sun's rays? Have you ever been around someone and chose to run and hide? Have you ever been around someone scared of what feelings are inside? Have you ever.........