Victraelle Demoness and then some CoOw...'s blog: "Poetry"

Goodbye, goodbye again So weighed down Drowning in my sins I go down to the altar I genuflect the deities there I was told I was a star Where is the light? Where is the light I was supposed to shine? Are all stars as obscure as I? Was it all a lie? Was it all a lie? Goodnight, goodnight again Nightmares wait For me to come to bed I go down to the water I wash the blood off there I was told I was great What happened to me here? What happened to me here That stole me away into fear? Are the great as lost as I? Was it all a lie? Was it all a lie? Goodbye, goodbye again For the last kiss on your fiery skin I go down to the fire I burn my iniquities there I was told I was beautiful What happened to my visage? What happened to my visage? I was supposed to be this wonderful image. Is all beauty as horrid as this? Was it all a lie? Was it all a lie? Goodnight, goodnight again One more kiss You give my flesh and then We go down to our dreams We conjure our fantasies there You tell me that I’m perfect What are all these defects? What are all these defects That my body tries to protect? Are the perfect so distorted? You’ve never lied to me. . . You’ve never lied to me. . . vV""VIC""Vv

Depression pulls at you Like the arms of a sadistic fantasy. You fall back into nothing To watch the world disappear Within a crimson chasm. Nothing breaks the falls You don’t stop falling Even through the bloodied concrete Not until you reach her arms. You shudder there in the only paradise You have ever been able to escape to. Jealousy puts more green In your eyes than any gem comprehends. You’d put her under glass And label all the parts If only she wouldn’t’ve Had to hurt through it all. You contemplate How to kill competition Even when you’re in her arms. You shudder there in the only paradise You have ever been able to escape to. Obsession keeps pictures Of her in your wallet and on your walls. You want to keep her happy And will do anything To make sure she knows it. You won’t stop hunting Her every imprint on the earth. You’ll beg for her to kiss you When you’re being held by her arms. You shudder there in the only paradise You have ever been able to escape to. Love keeps her in your heart And she soaks your thoughts with the smile you have her You’d die to give her life; Fade away to lift her up; Stay your lusts to please her. Every moment away From her prolongs how long The blade stays barbed in your chest Until you’re in her arms Where you’ll shudder in the only paradise You have ever been able to escape to. vV""VIC""Vv

Would you care if I killed myself?

Trapped in a universe where only peace is wanted, but how would we have solace when it lie unaccomplished without chaos? Sitting, contemplating the rain as it falls all around me. Are the spirits washing away my sorrow or adding to this dance of my profound and martyred thoughts? Perhaps opening a forbidden glory over neutral thought could create a calming moment within the chimera which haunts our dreams. vV""VIC""Vv

Today I stare Stare at all you who Gaze at the sun . . . You blind yourselves To the corruption That your peers and yourself Commit. You tell your offspring That it doesn’t exist if you can’t see it; We live in a sea of science And hypothetical facts. We swim in the Formaldehyde, Preserving all the perverse lies, “Sexual experimentation,” No . . . lies . . . “Rapist’s translation.” Virgins are martyred Because of their taboo In our “advanced” world. The children are monsters Yet we have raised; created These abominations. We love our toxins; Our addictions More than we love one Another. Our smiles are made In the attempt to keep Intruders out and emotions In like barbed wire. Today I stare Stare at all you who Devour truths Just to spit lies and denial. I see your children, I see how they turn out and wonder, “Where did all The good parents go? Was there nothing left for us? Or are there still a fortunate few?” You don’t admit to your Mistakes. . .1000 mistakes That you cannot take back, Just like that new bottle Of pills you bought for Your children. Blame the doctor, blame the pills, Blame the teachers, blame the friends, Blame the music, blame the books, blame the colors of the rainbow! But don’t you even blame Yourself. Isn’t that how it works? Today I stare, I stare Today I stare at you. . . Stare at those who gaze at The sun. . .stare at those Who devour the Bitter truths and grow Them into sweet poisons. . . I stare at you. . .today. But, tomorrow. . . I’ll be staring at The cells from which There is no escape. . . Tomorrow, I will Look down, look down On your graves. . . Smile and say “Cheese”; Your defeat is so Picturesque. vV""VIC""Vv

Glorious night of serenades keeps me here in solitude awaiting the refined moment you alight and choose your time allowing for a scarlet moon; passioned as I whom calls your name in vain over miles bored with pain; the scars grow just as such when this shunned faith falls. No matter if I burst my chest I know that this'll be laid to rest lying under, comfortable, six feet of dirt, a convertible coffin No matter how tight my eyes dreams will always repeat their lies You know it now, I love you best. Scorching sun against my face holds me in thrall praying for the night once more to ignite the dark with might and bring sleep to us all. So then can I dream of you Angel of Black; Pray you fight these sad tears back; help me find the wings I had broken long ago. No matter if I burst my chest I know that this'll be laid to rest lying under, comfortable, six feet of dirt, a convertible coffin No matter how tight my eyes dreams will always repeat their lies You know it now, I love you best. You saved me from the flames you deceived my cruel fate into believing I had no name and so, I was overlooked by their sadistic games. Poor devil, come hold my soul Poor devil, come have my soul Poor devil, I am your own you know it now i love you best. vV""VIC""Vv

Come near It’s not so much a need As a want But my wants are close To needs When it comes to this. I don’t want to let go And the past is not yet Far enough to move on. Maybe If you pushed me I could fall on my knees And teach myself to stand. vV""VIC""Vv

Across the room I see you: white with death; sorrowful with life. Your eyes shatter the obsidian mists between us and I tremble. I take a shallow breath; perhaps you will overlook my hesitance no, my disobedience of your silent requests. Your eyes penetrate me; command a response from my lips... I can't refuse; I must share my life with you. vV""VIC""Vv

I can't start breathing and it's so hard because I can't stop living. My lungs, like a spoiled child, won't take the air that I've fed them before. My heart beats even though I tell it no longer must it do that any more. My head spins and heaves in a world much like all the carnival rides. My happy thoughts all flee from the euphoria; trying to find a place to hide. And I can't seem to hold my place in line to get myself some happiness to get myself some happiness... Perhaps that doesn't exist outside a bag anymore. And I keep losing my place in line because these clouds have no silver lining to hold me up hold me up off of the floor. I can't find my breath it's escaped my chest and I'm afraid it won't come back for me to say what I need to say. vV""VIC""Vv