EmptySku77's blog: "Poems by a Phoenix"

A Tree's Past Myself naked with turmoil, my feet rooting, finding fertile soil the binding of my soul and body only to stand here for eternity. Branches scaping my flesh, twisting and turning, escaping the bondage of my fears, leaving me, abandoning me and leaving no hope. Rain running through my eyes, the false feeling of tears, my face stained in need, no chance for ignorant relief. The cool breeze bringing shivers that leave my muscles aching for release, the constant reminder of my anxieties, realizations that love left fleetingly. Crashes of lightning above me, a startling ignition of my climatic proportion, this numbing my thoughts of who I am, and why I shouldn't have sprouted. I find myself suddenly engulfed, surrounded by my fears, my lies and deceits, flames of anger flurry 'round me, I brought this upon the forest, This place I now call home. I see desperation in the prisoners along side me, creaking, twisting, swaying in tune with me. The saplings looking up to me, not realizing that they are have my destiny on their heads. Oh, how I want this to be different. How I want to shed my bark and leaves, treading the grounds in which I bed myself I am wanting and needing an escape. I twist and turn, wishing to free my roots how I wished I had stayed away, having never having found a place I felt comfortable, The past I have created for myself, now the other's future. I ask myself for the first time.... Why will I make you suffer, Why will I make you cry, Why will I find myself, a decrepit, burning tree bound in this forest of my anger, watching you whither in the flames of my own will? Why was it of my will?

If you get the chance....please check out my photoshopped section in my album. I really do pride my photoshopping, and if you like what you see, please ask/give me permission to do some work on a photo of you choice out of your album.....

In a world so full of crazy and ignorant fucks...i'm tired of this game called hide an seek..... Everyone enjoys being noticed now and again....well i'm sick and tired of being ignored...just because i'm an honest, straight foward type that tends to be a gentaleman doesn't mean that i should be ignored every time i am introduced to someone. I'm tired of being ignored because i respect and value other people... My existance on this planet has been equated to that of an ocean sponge....it's an interesting feature on this planet, but no one cares.... If people would truly open their fucking eyes, they might find the greatest thing right under their fucking noses.... i'm done ranting for tonight....i'm not sure i've ranted enough.....

In a world so full of crazy and ignorant fucls...i'm tired of this game called hide an seek..... Everyone enjoys being noticed now and again....well i'm sick and tired of being ignored...just because i'm an honest, straight foward type that tends to be a gentaleman doesn't mean that i should be ignored every time i am introduced to someone. I'm tired of being ignored because i respect and value other people... My existance on this planet has been equated to that of an ocean sponge....it's an interesting feature on this planet, but no one cares.... If people would truly open their fucking eyes, they might find the greatest thing right under their fucking noses.... i'm done ranting for tonight....i'm not sure i've ranted enough.....

My life feels like it's in a huge upheaval right now....well it is...and i just want to scream at the top of my fucking lungs and beat the shit out of everything around me becuase i obviously have no control of anything......all the things i want and desire in this life are not ment to be mine, i disappoint and scar the people i hold closest to my heart and i'm just failing everyone, especially myself..... What the fuck is going on??? I feel like i make it out of the rough waters, just to find that my ship is sinking because i drilled a hole in my hold... I'm just a major fuck up and need to stay the fuck away from everybody... everything i touch turns to shit.

My mind, stinted with fragments of who you are Leaves me gazing upon my internal portrait of you. Never feeling quite who I am, I venture to another realm, Finding the fears that devour, and the hopes that deliver to me Suffocating dreams of remorse, for I am distant from my gravity. These hollowed days, I refrain from the truth that wells outside, Bringing a fridged sense of wonderment, left only for you to envelope. This body awash in pain, the pleasure it brings to feel again, How can it be, my heart flexes in anticipation of you? The aroma of Lips on my skin, a breath across the nape of the battered man that I am? Thinking not of a thing to do, but losing my site in you, I close my eyes.

This is really driving me crazy.......i have my muse, but she gives me too many ideas that i can't even finish one other poem.........I start one and another one gets in my head......and since i can't reallyfinish one, i'm not happy with what i've already got.........so what i'm going to do is ask for help from you the readers, I"m going to put down what i have so far on many different topics and i need you to help me deside which ones to finish. I'm not sure any of them are any good right now, but if i get feed back, i'll work on the them till they are down, so please tell me what ones are worthy for me to continue on. So here they are, in no particular order. the dashed lines indicate the begining and end of the particular poems, i've even numbered them to make it easier for you to tell me what poem to do. ------------------------------------------------------------------ 1 My mind is a wash, the canvas clean. my first stroke, i aply my soul. My muse in sight, delicately, I trace your form. i lift my brush, my hand quivers. ------------------------------------------------------------------ 2 I've relapsed into my coma, unwilling to see myself faulter, witnessing this would damage my faith even further. I need to numb myself, my mind will not rationalize the pain within this ragged form i've become. Only a sigh escapes my lips. ------------------------------------------------------------------ 3 I've been so lonely, i've been disowned once again i breath a sigh, and go back inside myself. I'm so scared of how i've become, and i can't live or die. The begining was a fright, the climax a wonderous delight, but then i fell into you, I lost all of who i once was. I've had no chance to empty my soul, and yet i ------------------------------------------------------------------ 4 When can I begin, or should I even ask? Can I have my way, or should I just obey? Should i flee you, or can i trust your eyes? If I turn my back will i live another day? I'm afraid I can't help myself anymore. --------------------------------------------------------------------- 5 Did you say yes, did you say no I could have read you, if you didn't tear out your pages should i fear you, should i love you would you be youself, will i be myself is there a chance in lossing us in each other ------------------------------------------------------------------ 6 When i was young, i remember saying "i'd like to be a junkie when i grow up." now that i'm grown, i'd like to forget my childish sarcasms, and find my fix one last time. I'm not like a junkie, but i need my fix. Dope does nothing for me now, alcohal bitter, leaving me empty I'm not like a junkie, but i need my fix. I need you to be my fix. If not one last time. I'm finding nothing in my same ol' same ol', i'm lossing everything to my daily grind what exactly is there to find, nothing, i've become blind. As i remind myself of what i've already seen, but can't recall a thing. ------------------------------------------------------------------ 7 Will i ever make it back..... I've gone for now, leaving my heart detached it seems useless without you with me, but what do i know I haven't seen you enuff to remember much, but then again, i remember our end all too well. ------------------------------------------------------------------ 8 Can i doctrine you my spirtitual love? can i confess my hearts desires and not me shunned? can i be carnal with you beside me and not worry about the consiquences or should i be coy, hiding my lust for something more? ------------------------------------------------------------------ 9 Bring it down on me, make it hurt, one last time. The pain brings back the memories, this only fills my being with empty hopes. It's sad that i thrive when you drive me to the brink but who else can give me that with the crack of a whip? Can i trust in you, to hurt me? giving all to me, just, and take it all away? show me who you are and deny me all the same. With out you, i can not kill away my heart. Thrust into me, right through my flesh, pulling back and forth, i need this, my love. I need you to bind my body and soul, peircing me, as often as you can. ------------------------------------------------------------------ 10 My breath catches, the air rancid with your absence. ------------------------------------------------------------------ 11 Why is it that blind men always paint the most colorful clowns? ------------------------------------------------------------------ 12 Removing my eyes can only better my chances to escape your view. ------------------------------------------------------------------ 13 I fade back into the shadows, i'm looking at you, but you can't see i'm longing for you, but you're coy with me there should be more to me, but i'm only half a man, my experiences stealing from me whenever they can.

On and On, This Is My Life We met once, in a dimly lit pool hall. She blinked, her eyes so deep, her smile lingering on her lips and seeming a little eager. She told me her thoughts on life, music and the road outta town. I spoke the same, ending sooner, i didn't even have an original line. Well, the night went on, without her, i did my usual stints of wandering an emptying bar, my mind saying i'm not even here, ending my night there. When i came to the morning after, i woke to a cigerette and a wonder. Did i enjoy the night before, or was it just her eyes and laughter? The days went on, my heart growing heavy, my eyes not focused, my mouth blundering and for all i was worth, i did not quander the grandeur of her wondrus allure. Now I have no faith, i ignore my fate i go on about my life, letting go, she was a momentary lapse, that's all i know, that's all i'll ever know since her.

Being in the Void My life has become a void, Drawing in those who are pure and innocent Them none the wiser as to who I am Than that of who I know myself to be. With the winds of change, I am there, Never staying long enough to learn. Truths of myself hidden behind my eyes, Even in the mirror of reconciliation. What does it take to know mysefl? Who has this answer, I seek, if not me? When will I surrender to that person And accept the gift I ask for? I fear that I will no longer grow Into the person I have always been. I will dwindle down to the root of insanity, Long enough to devour my heart with bloodied teeth, I shall end my reality. My soul sores about it all, With nothing to grasp, The abstract Idealisms within my fading body Remind me that Im still lost among this concrete Void that my mind creates of my being.

My Life is a Threat Looking about, wandering with an empty soul, wondering when I put these blue shades on Isnt it true how love kills hopes, my dreams Faltering in the sun, yet darker by the moonlight. Ive found many things recently, like how life is truly evil. That a smile hurts more than the pain of heartache. Sparkling eyes lie more than you standing right outside my door. My soul is priceless until I give it away, it rotten to the core. Im the burden I feared Id become, a torment to the public. As I walk these silent streets, I have the rain trying to cleanse me. The stench of my existence prevalent to the passer-byes. How did I find my way to this point in life, this threat to everyone. Im a sad, sad example of how life gives the decrepit to the healthy. Im proof of how life can play tricks on the hopeful and give them nothing. My eyes become blind as I look for an answer to your troubles in me, My heart blackens as the blood dries up and petrifies, the end to my life, your threat.