KrAzY KeN's blog: "new and improved"

you know when ya just have to write about something cuz the light is brighter in your world and you can't do much of anything but express how ya feel. 

Now that the dark cloud of stupidness and lies and deceit and someone not being totally loyal to me has passed, i've come to this bright light.. i have been brought to what i call a new breath of fresh air.. i'm not clouded with all the pain or crying tears of a person who just didn't want to be real.. Being real to me is coming right to me and being upfront and honest.. about their life, wants and desires . knowing of the risks that person takes and is willing to take a journey with me in this life together. 

My heart yeah its big, n do i care about the left of the remains of someone that could lie to anyone just by looking at you .. yes i do.. but thats cuz it was 3 years of alot of conversations, either good or bad.. i'm guessing i had a lot of false promises given to me, hearing and seeing for myself that it was more of a game to her than wanting to have a relationship with someone who would be real through all the bullshit that has happened in life.. 

My new life well lets just say i'm happy that someone is looking at me for me.. yes i'm an asshole but i have my many reasons to be that way, but i am happy that i can stand on my own 2 feet and not let my thoughts get to me.. Communication and truth is what is always beautiful.. everything is always on the table and no hidden agendas or lies. Im happy that i am able to step forward into this new light and be free from fake ass people .. a saying i have said before.. COME REAL OR DONT COME AT ALL

So i'm just in my own thoughts and feelings right now, not sure what to think or how to handle these things going on inside my head and my heart. I wonder if there will be a chance to talk things out, or will it be a few more days that i sit back and ponder.. What do i do from here.. when can my heart stop holding on to something that may or may not ever be.. time will tell i guess. i'm 43 i'm not getting any younger.. time to either stop acting like its a highschool game and deal with it, or move on . whats next

I do want to give a apology to 2 beautiful women i shouldn't have done wrong across. I was hurt that my voice wasn't heard or understood. I was wrong for my actions and wasn't understanding where i was wrong cuz of what that night was all about. You both are wonderful women and i don't ever want to think i could go a day with out either of you in my life. You should know that I am greatly sorry for everything. I want things to be better. Yes we all make mistakes .. some things we don't tell cuz we dont want anyone knowing, or we try not letting people in when it can go to hell.. all i'm asking is to be forgiven and lets move on for something that should of never of happened 

Ok so here i am once again to make a valid point.. yes Cherry and I are talking again, and your point is.. you got stupid and let her go.. awww you gonna cry like a little bitch that you are cuz you didn't like what she was doing.. I know who she is what she is all about and how she acts ... she is a good woman and has a big heart .. no one can take that away from her.. you can't control a 29 year old woman that has no intentions to be controlled.. she loves and enjoys having fun but now you are making it look like she did the worse thing possibe.. I love the hell out of her.. yes no matter how many times her and i have argued and broke up and gotten back together .. the one thing i can be for sure is that i always had her back no matter what.. am i obsessed.. you can say that but at least i'm not stupid enough to say that she was too clingy .. at least i know she loves me enough to want to be with me.. i can't say she is perfect cuz she is her own person and everyone has thier own dark past.. that past is what keeps her grounded and distant with alot of people .. SO really this is what i'm gonna say.. DONT TRY TEARING UP HER LIFE AND TRY TO CONTROL HER OR BEAT HER DOWN CUZ YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE HER. but anyway I had finally gained my first metal for completing a weekly challenge.. have a great day everyone 

Its a beautful tuesday and i'm so glad that  the day is going well.. I"m always happy to see people smile and always here to say hi to .. I will do what i have to to make people smile themselves.. Yay i can't wait till May

Hey all its Sunday and its a good day .. i'm thinking its gonna be a good day so far.. hope everything goes well for everyone else. More of the day i get to deal with out a head ache that didn't seem to actually love me .. I am a great guy really.. just don't piss me off or do anything behind my back.. you'll find out the devil comes out .. but anyway. I am stronger and better .. i'm not a low life.. i don't get into a marriage with a couple cuz well its soo wrong .. cuz someone is always gonna feel left out.. one way or another .. but thats not me .. i'm a happy guy i love me and who i am

the things you hear when you piss people off. you find out whats going on the other side.. before you go doing something stupid, make sure you have your i's dotted and your t's crossed. remember i have proof that i see things going on here.. oh yeah on my blogs i see .. so come on make me famous more lol or just deal with it.. the more my name comes out your mouth is more that you have burned yourself .. the more you give out my information means you definitely make yourself guilty automatically especially if they contact me .. so wanna deal with me then deal with me on a level thats of an adult .. children games and highschool games are done and over with ..

I gotta admit i love the people who view my blogs .. even if you dont want to make it known you are looking lol its ok i don't mind.. I know deep down you care .. hheheheheheh thats why your here.. oh don't worry i'm not gonna say anything bad .. i'll let you figure out your life on your own .. i'm here and not going anywhere.. i don't have to lie just sit here and enjoy my day so all my viewers . glad to see ya here :D wooo hoo

when you realize that life has dragged you down alot you have to pick yourself up and dust off the cobwebs.. you know you are better than what people make you out to be.. you don't have to squeeze yourself into something knowing that you don't belong.. some say oh but it feels just right.. are you sure it feels right or are you trying to fill a void in your life.. if you just into a relationship to fast, its most likely to fail cuz your heart isn't settled from your last relationship.. your looking for a quick fix.. what happened.. was it you .. or them that couldn't work out .. I am too smart for my own good to know that i'm better than I was.. if you think you got something better.. are you so sure you do? enterting into something that you may or may not have the best.. I noticed some things.. stop looking for love if you have already found it .. cuz the words you speak to others are just empty promises