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1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex. 4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining. 6. When you are confused - I will use little words. 7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath - I pledge it till the end. Why, you ask? Because you are my friend. lol ~Larry~
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