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TiGGeRKiSSeS07's blog: "My Poetry"

created on 12/24/2006  |  http://fubar.com/my-poetry/b37463
Hey everybody. I know this is retarted...but...I still have three months before I graduate high school, and the school's music department is doing a magazine fundraiser. If anyone HAS a magazine subscription that they want to renew, the fund raiser can do it for you, or if you want to order a new magazine they have some great deals. If you're interested...I would only need a few details from you. As horrible as it sounds, you would need to give out your full name and address so I can send the postcard. I fill out the postcard with your name and address, and the company will send you the information on how to do it. Your name and address will not be given to ANYONE other than the magazine company (THEY DO NOT SELL NAMES AND ADDRESSES) and they will mail it to you. So, if you would be willing to help our music department (I am in the orchestra..I play string bass) please send your name and address to my inbox and I will send you a comfirmation e-mail and you'll get the information in the mail. Thank you so much for your time, and if you can help please do so!!!

He

He says I don't care, he says I'm never there, For some weird reason I don't think it's fair. He says I lie, he says I hide, By his rules I have to abide. I'll slink away to my own personal doom, The way he acts brings me such gloom. I can't believe he said those words to me, His fighting words won't let me be. They consume me inside out, It leaves me wondering what we're about. I'm left here to comfort myself, although I don't know how, The looks I get make me feel like a cow. Not pretty nor am I perfect, I know this for sure, For my insecurity there is no cure. I'll deal with it, here and today, I've always left my feelings locked away. He doesn't understand, he never will, He doesn't know my inner demons I must kill. Alone and by myself, that's what I have to do, All my life, away from them I flew. It's time to face the truth and deal with it now, When they're defeated then I'll bow. I'll sink to my knees in a fit of tears, Something I've wanted for all these years. They'll be gone, they'll finally be dead, Inside I won't feel any more dread. I dread the day for this to come, For now I feel like such a bum. I leave them there to devour me inside out, I don't know what it's about. I'm lost and I'm confused without a hand to hold, To his wishes I, myself, have to mold. Make me perfect, make me pretty, Inside make me feel so itty bitty. The time has come for us to part, My inner demon slaying is about to start. Let me go and finish the job for good, I'll hide my face with a hood. He won't see it coming, I know he won't, Helping me is something to which I say "Don't". Let me do this on my own, I don't need your help; I'll catch my tears in a cone. I'll hold my own hand along the way, I'll keep my feelings away from you and out at bay. Is this the end? I don't kn ow. I don't know where from here to go. I love you so, I really do, I've always considered you my boo. The time has come for me to part, I'll leave you with my broken heart. I don't know where this will leave us, I wish to our old relationship we could bus. Travel back to another place, another time, My inner clock begins to chime. It snaps me back to an evil reality, the here and now, I hope your heart I don't disavow. I don't mean to hurt you, I really don't, I tell myself not to, and inside I hope I really won't. I need you here to support me, I need you to be here, I'm afraid to show you my every tear. Please just listen and heart me out, I need to find what I'm about.
Tear me open, force my show and tell, Expose my inner most hell. I'm crying from the outside in, I don't know where to begin. Inspect me now, inside out, You won't understand what it's about. Please shut your lips and just listen, Ignore the way my lashes will glisten. Let me tell my story, I'll begin with the start, Trust me, my dear, these feelings come from the heart. I can finally expose my inner truth, This is my story of my stolen youth.

Music

The music takes my hand as it slowly leads me away, It takes me to another place, another time of day. The music carries me softly along, I know with music is where I belong. It touches me in a place not yet known, It is with music that I have flown. Grab my instrument and start to play, Emotions surrounding my heart start to fray. Break away and fall apart, With them gone I can feel my heart. It's beating rapidly, I'm still alive, Why I feel this way I cannot contrive. Music takes me away from my worldly deed, I'm free to just be me. It engulfs my every thought, Of my troubles, I've seriously forgot. The music slowly comes to an end, a decrescendo with a dramatic end, To the real world I feel I have to bend. The last note slowly fills the room, It sends me back to reality, my own personal doom.
He sits in the corner, silent tears caressing his cheeks, Nobody's noticed, and he's been there for weeks. He's tired of living a life of abuse, His father does wrong, and it's he she'll accuse. He's scared and he's alone, He's forced to think hell is a place called home. She hides in bed, away from her daddy, By night she's his whore and by day she's "Fatty" He slips in her bed, quietly drunk, With his daughter is where he'll bunk. He touches and hurts her while she'll silently cry, Resisting him isn't something she'll try. She's scared and she's alone, She's forced to think hell is a place called home. Little Johnny's only ten and he's living on his own, He cries at night because he's alone. He ran away from home because his mom's a whore, Her angry words and hurtful slaps finally reached his core. Brought home different men every single night, Their booze filled brains only caused a fight. He'd lock himself in his room and hide, By her rules he had to abide. He's scared and he's alone, He's forced to think hell is a place called home. Erika's only 11 when her Mama passes away, Her daddy yells at her to keep her tears at bay. Now late at night he has his way, "Take off your pants." She has to obey. He forces himself in her while she sits and cries, Inside she watches as she slowly dies. The pain has scarred her inside out, She doesn't like what her daddy's about. She's scared and she's alone, She's forced to think that hell is a place called home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The little bastard doesn't know his place, To my family he's such a disgrace. He takes after his father, that's for sure, For that there is no cure. I kick and slap and throw him around, I leave bruises where they can't be found. He's a disgusting sight to look at, I'd rather smash his face in with a bat. He needs to die, he needs to leave, In him nobody should believe. She's no little princess, she's such a whore, The bruises I left mean nothing anymore. Her mother turns the other cheek, She's been pregnant about a week. She's carrying my child, yes she is, I'll blame it on him and say it's his. I should continue raping her, I know I should, It'd be so easy...I know I could. She needs to die, she needs to leave, In her nobody should believe. My Johnny left me, oh yes he did, I can't believe that's what he did. I have a new man who's sticking around, Now Johnny's no where to be found. I'll go looking to get my fill, I know it's him I'll have to kill. Just a bullet through the heart, With the bastard I want to part. He needs to die, he needs to leave, In him nobody should believe. The spoiled bitch is only eleven, it's true, Her mother had no fucking clue. I have my way with her every night, She knows better than to put up a fight. Seven months and she's expecting my baby, I know to full term she will not carry. I'll have to kill it, I'll murder it with my hands, I can't let her know of my plans. She's going to scream, she's going to cry, But that baby, I know it must die. She needs to die, she needs to leave, In her nobody should believe.

Daddy

He's guided me through all these years, And he's still the one to wipe my tears. Afraid to show any sign of emotion, To me he's given his most devotion. Through hell and back he's held my hand, Now he may be called to the promise land. I want to scream and I want to cry, Please, Daddy...please don't die! I need you here to help guide me, You can't just let me be. You've always been my solid rock, This cancer you have is such a crock. I don't understand why it's taken you as its host, Our relationship isn't understood by most. You've always been there, that I can't deny, If you go I'll always wonder why. The house will feel empty and alone, Of this life you have blown. Left me here to deal with the pain, The cancer has you to gain. I don't understand, I can't believe it's true, It's left me feeling so very blue. Questions race through my head, answers never found, We'll bury your body under a mound. A simple headstone to mark your place, Inside, I hope you've been blessed by grace. Lived your life to the fullest, as much as you did, To me, you never did fib. Why you and why here and now? I promise your memory I won't disavow. The cancer eats you from inside out, I don't know what this world's about. Death is smelt in the air all around, It seems after you it is abound. I'm scared to death to lose you now, I'm afraid to show you my worried brow. I'm losing the one who means most to me, The shaking fear won't let me be. I don't know what to do, I don't know where to turn, Life's cruel, and that's my lesson learned.
He was sittin’ in the corner He was tryin’ not to cry He held his daddy’s picture in one hand A tear filling his eye Memories flashed before him Thoughts of another time Sleepless summer nights and winters before a fire He was always the star in his daddy’s eye. Now he’s gone, he’s not coming back, The little boy just wants his daddy back. He glares at the sky, screaming in pain, Tears fill his face, and as the clouds part he cries: God why? Why did my daddy have to die? He was a loving man, he really was! He taught me right, I haven’t gone wrong! The boy continued through life, never understanding why. He missed his dad and the time they spent. Lessons he never learned.

Tired

Tired of fighting, tired of tears, Tired of waiting all these years. I can't turn back, it's too late now, I have to hide my crying brow. Inside I hurt, I scream in pain, I think there's nothing left for me to gain. Hollow eyes look back at me, I don't know who they see. A quiet fury passes over me, How the hell did he do that to me? Happy ever after never came true, Valentine's day has been so blue. Watch everyone else with roses and bears, Their boyfriends show they really care. A simple "I Love You" would help me mend, I'm so afraid this is the end.
He’s guided me through all these years, And he’s still the one to wipe my tears. Afraid to show any sign of emotion, To me he’s given his most devotion. Through hell and back he’s held my hand, Now he may be called to the promise land. I want to scream and I want to cry, Please, Daddy…please don’t die. I need you here to help guide me, You can’t just let me be. You’ve always been my solid rock, This cancer you have is such a crock. Why you and why here and now? I promise your memory I won’t disavow. The cancer eats you from inside out, I don’t know what this world’s about. Death is smelt in the air all around, It seems after you it is abound. I’m scared to death to lose you now, I’m afraid to show my worried brow. I’m losing the one who means most to me, The shaking fear won’t let me be. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to turn, Life’s cruel, and that’s my lesson learned.
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