Pammy's blog: "My Poems"

Blind Faith?? Even though we stumble,or even though we fall,God is there to lift us up and offer his hand so that we can rise. Our spirit goes through a battle every day of our lifes. They say the human spirit is unrelentless and Independant. So is that why we try to pull out of things on our own? Why is it, that we do this,then yell at God,for not succeding in our"prideful" ways and not letting God take our hand, when he so graciously held it out for us? Why is it that our mind is capable of so many things, yet when we fall on our face, after we didn't grab that hand that he held out for us, we blame the one thing, that if we had layed down our pride, could of helped us before we even fell? This Baffles me you guys. Just imagine this story. "Oh God" the girl cried again. The girls love of her life had just went into the hospital. She was depressed for many days. She asked everyone around her to pray, yet she was so obsessed with the fact that her love was in the hospital, that she passed up God's hand that had been sticking out right in front of her face, for her to take. Well the doctor came in and told her that her love, had worsened and that he was dying. The girl didn't know what to do, she was so frightened. She began to curse and blame God. "God" she yelled "You said that you know my heart, well this man is my heart, and yet you let him die!, why God, how can you do this to me" she was so angry at him and so hurt that every word that came out of her mouth hurt Gods heart worse than hers ever could have. Then God began to speak to her. "MY CHILD", why is it that I stand here waiting for you, yet you try to lean on your own understanding, and when things don't come to pass you blame ME, when all I have tried to do is love you, Have I not given you my son, so that you may live, Have I not carried you out of all your troubles, Have I not protected you and nurtured you, and even in your hardest times and when your burdens became to much I have lifted it off of your shoulders and placed them on my own, and even now I hold out my hands for you to take and yet you pass me by as if I have never been here?" The girl fell on her knees and cried "Oh God I am so sorry Lord, please forgive me, I want him to live oh God, please all my faith is in you, I now place all my trust in you, you have gave me no reason not too, and I am sorry" God touched her head "Oh my child, there will be many more times in your life where your faith will be tested, so remember this, and never gorget I am always here." As she got up, her love walked into the waiting room "Why are you crying love" the girl quickly turned around and smiled " You wouldn't believe me honey, just remember this, you walk now because the one that is higher than us loved you and me enough to heal you" then after this they kissed and held each other. Now me being wiccian believe in many gods and goddesses So its all of them I pray to when I pray and there is a God and Godess for everything in this world living and dead and everything has a soul even the trees and bugs cause they are all living things. be good to nature and others and they will be good to you thanks for reading my ramblings and blog enteries Pam

This one is one of my published poems Winters Night: I peer through the window and see winter's blanket upon the ground frozen. The harsh beauty of each snow flake pressed against the glass is like you.......meserising. The mere thought of you fans the smoulding passion within my heart, And keeps me warm on those cold, cold winter nights. I long for a time when we can spend those winter nights together sharing the warmth of a fire and the warmth of presence......one anothers. My heart beats like thunder in my chest, But the sound is lost in the crackle of the fire and the howling of the wind outside. We move closer and the intoxicating scent of you surrounds me, My skin seams to be on fire where your fingers touch me. And the passion in your eyes shine in the fire light. Two......perfect like stars that have fallen to the earth. Midnight falls and we sleep warm and content within each others arms. While the icy winds sighs endlessly through the eves. Then with a start I come awake only to realize it was a dream. A dream of longing and only lives in my heart. Pamella Quackenbush 9/2/2000

Letting You In: I want to hold you, stroke your hair I want to let you know I care I want to open up my mind So you can see my love is kind I want to make you understand my love is gentle, hold your hand, touch your face, and kiss your eyes make you believe I speak no lies I want to let you deep inside so you can see I do not hide so you can know my love is true so you can feel my love for you. Pamella Quackenbush 9/26/2000

"If" If our mother was here, would we all be acting like we are? Not talking to each other, having ill feelings towards one another. Holding in these feelings like we do helps none of us. Above all else we are family. You know none of us are perfect, we all at one time or another have made mistakes. And sometimes we say things we are sorry for later,but life goes on and it happens in the best of families. The past is the past and thats where it should stay,we need to live our life for the now. We still have each other and none of us know for sure when it will be our last. So we should just let the past be. Pamella Quackenbush 12/8/2001

What are Friends? I ponder about this and yet it still baffles me friends they say friends? what really is a friend? someone who will always be there? someone who will turn their back on you? someone who cares for you always? A Friend Is someone who turely loves you who can accept you know matter what someone who doesn't turn their back on you nor talk about you someone who is happy when you have acheived something someone who helps you out in everything someone who is there, to wipe up your tears and make you laugh and last but not least a friend is a shoulder to lean on, the calmer of storms. Pamella Quackenbush 3/30/2000

Try to be Strong I try to be strong but I am weak I need to be held I need to be comforted I want this pain to go living is painful I am empty now....numb my heart can't feel much that is why there are these tears I try to open up,but I can't pity is not allowed in my life I am a coward my soul has been lost there is no hope for me I don't want to live like this I need an out yet I want to be strong I can't live up to my own standards I'm a contradiction to everything I say how I need you,where are you now? you say you are right beside me yet I can't feel you I know how you feel and it hurts so much oh why did I turn my back on you?why can't it just all go back the way it was why do I suffer,with my own torment, the torment I've made the life I've lived. Pamella Quackenbush 3/30/2000

You're the one for me..... You are the one I think about, each and everyday, the memories of us together, have never seamed to fade. A picture of you, I still hold so near my heart, even after all the years that've gone by, and all the miles apart. Not a day goes by, that I wish you would see, even after all this time, just what you mean to me. I wish to take away your sorrows, and all the pain you feel inside, to see the smile back on your face, and the sparkle in your eyes. You have with you, this heart of mine, and I hope you never let it go, for with time and passing years, this love could only grow. Pamella Quackenbush 2000

Tears: Tears slowly falling down my face so many memories in so little time, I wish they would have never happened I wish I could change it all yet my mind won't let me forget my mistakes this biggest one, is not doing the things I should have, the things I will later regret for the rest of my life I trust to easily and I hurt to easily, How could anyone love me? my heart screams when all I feel like is a waste of air. why do I even feel like this why does this happen to me why can't my mind just leave me alone! why do I treat myself like this? why do I fear love? why can't others see me for me, the inside me why does it have to be me? why can't there be someone like me? Too many whys I believe. Pamella Quackenbush 2000

Life's Thoughts I am not sure what is real any more in my life, every day it seams that the more I try to get ahead in my life, events around me happen to push me down and keep me frommoving forward. But I keep trying to move forward and try not to let those events to keep me from my goal. The more I try the more I am held back by things I can not control, but seam to have control of me in some way. I wish they would just leave me be and let me become who I know I am and what I know I can be, But they just keep pushing me down as I keep getting up and pushing forward. Pamella Quackenbush 2/8/2006