I recently looked up some of George Carlin's best jokes online. These are a few of the jokes I think he will be best remembered by. I hope you like them as much as I do.
CARLIN-ISMS
If crime fighters fight crime, and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still No. 2?
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America you get a front row seat.
