masigran's blog: "Masigran"

1. Open a new file in your PC . 2. Name it "Housework." 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN. 4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN. 5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want To delete Housework permanently?" 6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press mouse button firmly...... 7. Feel better? Works for me!

There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone." So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! What is the moral of this story? OH, come on . take a guess! Think about it (You're going to love this!) And the moral is: You can't kill two birds with one stone!

What a scared little seven-year-old boy I was when the orphanage finally let me out of that dark closet, after two days. I took my bath, brushed my teeth with soap and dressed myself for school in the clothes that the matron had laid on my bed. Clothes that were always too big, or too small for me. When I reached Spring Park Elementary, I just kept walking past the school building, because I was so afraid the other kids in my classroom would make fun of me because of all the black and blue marks on my legs where I had been whipped with the polo paddle. I walked and walked for what seemed to be hours. Finally, I came to this great big wide street which was at the end of Spring Park Road. I had never seen a street that big before and I had never seen so many cars in all my life. Across the street was a big brick store and the sign on top said Preston's Drugs. There was also a sign in the window that read "Everything you'll ever want is here." It took me almost an hour to get across Atlantic Boulevard, because I was so scared. But finally, I ran across the road as fast as I could and none of the cars hit me. Then I walked into the large Preston Drug Store and noticed people sitting at a counter drinking drinks with ice cream in them. I had never seen anything like that before. I don't think I ever had ice cream before, but that is not what I was looking for anyway. The sign said they had everything that you would ever need in the whole wide world. I had heard about something very special and I wanted to buy one if they had it. I looked, and I looked, and I looked, but I just could not find the thing that I had heard about on the television movie. Finally, this old man grabbed me by the arm, and it scared me real bad too. "What are you doing in here, boy"? he yelled at me. "I'm looking for something special," I told him, as I backed against the wall. "Are you stealing stuff"? he said as he pointed directly at my nose. "No Sir, Mister," I said. "I'm not a stealer." I was taken into the back office and a policeman came and asked me why I was not in school. I didn't tell him anything, because I was afraid that he would take me to jail for running away from the orphanage. So, I just started crying really loud. After the policeman left the room, this old lady, about twenty-five years old, came in and sat by me. "Were you stealing"? she asked me. "No ma'am. I was just looking for something special," I told her. "And what might that be"? she asked. "Do you have a hug in this here store"? I asked. "We always have hugs for kids in this store," she said as she stood up, wrapped her arms around me and squeezed real tight. She smiled, walked out of the small office and when no one came back for a long time, I looked out the office door and saw that the back door of the store was open. I quickly walked out of the back door and I ran all the way back to school. When I got back, I found out that I was only 20 minutes late. I was the only kid in my class that day that did not have the five cent milk money for lunch. But that was okay, because I had laid my nickel on the man's desk at the Preston Drug Store to pay for the hug that the lady gave me. It really was the store "that had everything in the world that you would ever need," and nobody can ever say that I stole it either. Roger Dean Kiser

http://apps.facebook.com/hotwall/watch.php?v=cJueekvhRDI

1) Weed, coke, speed, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms... of these, how many have you done? 2) Ever been cheated on? 3) Ever paid for sex? 4) Ever been married? 5) Ever been divorced? 6) If you had to pick one, whats your favorite sexual position? 7) Do you own any guns? 8) Ever been in rehab? 9) Have you ever had any sexual experiences with the same sex? 10) Ever have sex with anyone that you met on fubar? 11) Truthfully… does size matter (boobs/dicks)??? 12) Do you think Arnold could beat up Chuck Norris? 13) What celebrity would you want to have sex with? 14) Ever been unemployed for over a year since becoming an adult? 15) How many states have you lived in? 16) How many countries have you lived in? 17) Do you keep a weapon under or next to your bed at night? 18) What celebrity would you want to beat up if you had the chance? 19) Ever rolled into the harsh ghetto to buy drugs 20) Ever cheated on someone? 21) Ever been paid for sex? 22) Ever hired a SPY to follow someone? 23) Ever bang your friends man/woman? 24) What is your i.q? 25) Do you think Mr. Rogers really was a pervert or do you think he just really liked kids? 26) O.J. Simpson......did he do it? 27) Fake tits or real tits? 28) Ever watch someone die? 29) How long has it been since you had sex: 30) Name your favorite beer? 31) If you could have sex with one person on your friends list who would it be 32) Have you ever had anal sex with the opposite sex ? 33) In your last 19 sexual encounters how many times did you fake an orgasm to get it over with ?

What a scared little seven-year-old boy I was when the orphanage finally let me out of that dark closet, after two days. I took my bath, brushed my teeth with soap and dressed myself for school in the clothes that the matron had laid on my bed. Clothes that were always too big, or too small for me. When I reached Spring Park Elementary, I just kept walking past the school building, because I was so afraid the other kids in my classroom would make fun of me because of all the black and blue marks on my legs where I had been whipped with the polo paddle. I walked and walked for what seemed to be hours. Finally, I came to this great big wide street which was at the end of Spring Park Road. I had never seen a street that big before and I had never seen so many cars in all my life. Across the street was a big brick store and the sign on top said Preston's Drugs. There was also a sign in the window that read "Everything you'll ever want is here." It took me almost an hour to get across Atlantic Boulevard, because I was so scared. But finally, I ran across the road as fast as I could and none of the cars hit me. Then I walked into the large Preston Drug Store and noticed people sitting at a counter drinking drinks with ice cream in them. I had never seen anything like that before. I don't think I ever had ice cream before, but that is not what I was looking for anyway. The sign said they had everything that you would ever need in the whole wide world. I had heard about something very special and I wanted to buy one if they had it. I looked, and I looked, and I looked, but I just could not find the thing that I had heard about on the television movie. Finally, this old man grabbed me by the arm, and it scared me real bad too. "What are you doing in here, boy"? he yelled at me. "I'm looking for something special," I told him, as I backed against the wall. "Are you stealing stuff"? he said as he pointed directly at my nose. "No Sir, Mister," I said. "I'm not a stealer." I was taken into the back office and a policeman came and asked me why I was not in school. I didn't tell him anything, because I was afraid that he would take me to jail for running away from the orphanage. So, I just started crying really loud. After the policeman left the room, this old lady, about twenty-five years old, came in and sat by me. "Were you stealing"? she asked me. "No ma'am. I was just looking for something special," I told her. "And what might that be"? she asked. "Do you have a hug in this here store"? I asked. "We always have hugs for kids in this store," she said as she stood up, wrapped her arms around me and squeezed real tight. She smiled, walked out of the small office and when no one came back for a long time, I looked out the office door and saw that the back door of the store was open. I quickly walked out of the back door and I ran all the way back to school. When I got back, I found out that I was only 20 minutes late. I was the only kid in my class that day that did not have the five cent milk money for lunch. But that was okay, because I had laid my nickel on the man's desk at the Preston Drug Store to pay for the hug that the lady gave me. It really was the store "that had everything in the world that you would ever need," and nobody can ever say that I stole it either. Roger Dean Kiser

Want one? Go to geocities.com/testiflash - Hello!

Want one? Go to geocities.com/testiflash - Hello!