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I, the penis, request a pay raise due to the following reasons:
1) I do physical labor
2) I work at great depths
3) I plunge head first into everything I do
4) I work weekends & holidays
5) I work in damp environments
6) I work in dark areas with poor ventilation
7) I work in high temperatures
8) .. and my work exposes me to disease
Dear penis, your request has been denied for the following reasons:
1) You don't work eight hours straight
2) You work in short spurts and fall asleep after each brief work period
3) You don't stay in your designated work area, and are frequently found in other locations
4) You don't take initiative and must be stimulated to start working
5) You leave your work place messy at the end of your shift
6) You are unable to work overtime or double shifts
7) You sometimes leave your designated work are before completing the assigned task
8) You have constantly been seen entering and exiting the work place with two suspicious bags
Sincerely, Miss Snatch
