Piney's blog: "LIFES JOURNEY"

If you don’t know what it is, call it an ‘issue’… If you don’t know how it works, call it a ‘process’… If you don’t know whether its worth doing, call it an ‘option’… If you don’t know how it could possibly be done call it a ‘challenge’ or an ‘exciting opportunity’… If you want to confuse people, ask them about ‘customers’… If you don’t know how to do something, ‘empower’ someone else to do it for you… If you can’t take decisions, ‘create space’ for others to operate… If you need a decision, call a ‘workshop’ to ‘network’ and ‘ground the issue’, followed by an ‘away day’ to ‘position the elephant in the room’ and achieve ‘buy-in’… Never criticize or boast, call it ‘information sharing’… Never call something a failure or mistake, its a ‘positive learning experience’… Never argue, have an ‘adult conversation’… Here are some helpful ways to get along at the workplace... If you can’t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights… A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt… Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted… It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you’re going to do… After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before… The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get… You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and wear a lab coat… Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day… When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves… If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it… There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office… Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back… Everything can be filed under “pending.”… Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour… To err is human, to forgive is not our policy… Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing… Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail… If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it… You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk… People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t… If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done… At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying… When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried… Following the rules will not get the job done… Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules… When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”… No matter how much you do, you never do enough… The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong…

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3 When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. 9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend". Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth.

B|L|U|E| |E|Y|E|S| People with blue eyes relationships tend to be very honest because if they aren't truly in love, then the relationship won't work. They are kind, pretty or handsome,and are pretty hot. They always fall in love with their closest friends and never understand why. They are very funny, outgoing and don't care what people think or say. They are very polite. They are very satisfying and love to please. If you repost this and you have blue eyes you will have the best kiss sometime in the next 5 days. |G|R|E|E|N| |E|Y|E|S| -Sex Addicts!!! People with green eyes have the most passion put into relationships, they have long lasting relationships. People with green eyes are also the horniest. They long for the touch of another. People with green eyes are very sexy and very attracted towards the opposite sex. You will meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with if you repost this |H|A|Z|E|L| |E|Y|E|S| -Either sexy as hell or are very adorable. Loves to make new friends. people with hazel eyes tend to have the longest lasting relationships. They fall easily for their best friends. Will do anything for that special person. Kind and polite. Can make ANYONE laugh or cheer them up. Loves to please the one they care for or love. VERY good kissers. Are straight up WARRIORS when necissary. Repost this if you have hazel eyes and you will find the one that you are meant to be with within the next 7 days. |B|R|O|W|N| |E|Y|E|S| -People with brown eyes are very loveable. They are really hot and are awesome to be around. They don't enjoy 'pet names'. They don't care what people think or say. They are very satisfying and they love to be pleased. They can exceed your pleasure standards. They are very laid back, chilled and love to just be around. If you repost this and have brown eyes then you will be happy soon with the person who is on your heart.

SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . . having friends. At age 16 success is . . having a drivers license. At age 35 success is . . having money. At age 50 success is . . having money. At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . having friends. At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom. The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you". The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife/Hubby any more. She/He takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. The 6th kind is called Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. OOPS. Don't forget the 7th kind of sex - Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on!

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it. FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much. NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions. EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.