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Tattoo's blog: "Life"

created on 09/04/2015  |  http://fubar.com/life/b364518  |  1 followers

I was sitting on the porch this morning, at about 3:30am, just watching, listening, and thinking, when it hit me: I am so old, and I've been here for so long, that I could, quite literally, walk around this "Little Switzerland of the Ozarks", stop at just about any spot, and tell a story about some funny, crazy, or stupid shit, that happened there. From the horrible Crescent Hotel fire. I watched it from the end of Singleton, where I cried like a baby, because, to me, that was the castle where the Princess lived, who I slayed dragons every day in my Emerald Forest to keep her safe. I felt helpless that day! The wind was blowing from west to east on that bright & sunny afternoon. The valley that North Main/Hway 23 North runs through was solid black smoke. They called all able-bodied men in town to come help put it out. Once it was almost extinguished, the smoke turned almost pure white; to "Sherman's 66", the classiest service station I've ever seen. Their red and white pinstriped uniforms were awesome. Gawd, I wanted one that said "KEVIN" on it so bad! I would have worn it proudly!; to the way the bakery made downtown smell; to sledding down Howell Street on a huge Coca-Cola sign; to Mr. Walker, (Named "Digby"? Maybe?) who owned "Walker Brother's", giving me a ride down to his store and letting me pick out any cowboy hat I wanted, for free. I chose a black one, of course; to earning a nickel a day working at the gas station that is now Tad's; to the day the Arkansas Razorback's mascot (I believe his name was "Tusk", maybe?) broke out of his cage during a parade and terrorized the whole area until he was caught. It was fucking priceless!; to chief of police Leroy Weems, who who was at least 100 stories by himself. Geez, what a piece of work that bag of douche was; to the first murder that I knew of; to "Bus Driver Dan" who, even though I was very young, let me ride out on the Jefferson Lines bus he drove, out to Miles Mountain Musical Museum, while standing at the front, holding the PA mic, and giving the tour out there and back; to mowing lawns all over town for $1.00 each, except for one huge one. I charged him $6.00, and even felt bad about that; to the wonderful Joy Motel and all that worked there; to the police department throwing teargas into the basement of The Auditorium to break up the Barefoot Ball. What a bunch of fucksticks; to all the bikers & hippies, whom the town hated, but I loved so dearly; to Barb & Bev and Manny & Vernon, who taught me how to be a man; to the Sunday morning planer mill fire; to the spot where I got my first kiss; to listening to Billy Gene Billings fire up his lime green #47 Chevrolet Camaro dirt track stock car; to pulling curtain the night my sister won The Ozark Folf Festival Queen Contest, and the mess I cleaned up for her later that, still to this day, no one knows about. It would have broken her heart into a million tiny pieces; to pregame warm-ups at the old Highlander Gymnasium and hearing Roger Greenlee stand up and yell, "DUNK IT, KEVIN!" (Actually, he used my last name), then putting on a show and giving him his money's worth, one handed or two handed, it didn't matter to me, rattling those rims and listening to him squeal and just living to please that big man; to watching them build Harts; to trying to run away from home, only to be caught sitting in the Continental Trailways bus station (The cabin is now down by Chelsea's), holding in my hand a U.S. Army canteen full of water and a one-way ticket to Denver, CO., that later earned me the beating of a lifetime; to good ol' ESHS; to watching them build The Eureka Inn; to sitting in my car at the top of Planer Hill while listening to AC/DC when I found out Bon Scott had died; to watching them build the "Christ of the Ozarks Statue"; to my car wreck and my motorcycle wreck; to Mount Air Lodge cabins becoming The Inn of the Ozarks; to all the basketball scholarships I turned down because of a shitty attitude (My fault. I should have overcome all that fucked up mess) brought on by a shitty homelife and thinking that being street smart was good enough for me. Being a 6'4" knotheaded boy who could jump like a damn deer as well as play every position on the court should have given me a better future, but I just wasn't that interested at the time; to ghosts, ghosts, and many more buttloads of ghosts. I could go on for days, but I have to end this rambling somewhere. I've seen some things, that's for sure! Eureka has definitely changed over the years, but in many ways, it's still the exactly the same as it ever was. (You'll have to know that I wrote the end of that last line using David Byrne's, of Talking Heads, voice!) Sorry, I'm very easily entertained, and at times, I find myself wildly amusing! What can I say? I'm a cheap date. I take myself out on the town as often as possible. As a kid, I would always read the "Reader's Digest" from cover to cover, but my favorite part was "Laughter The Best Medicine" section. That alone should tell you a lot about me. I never really understood what that meant until my accident in 2006. Since that day, making myself giggle-snort-giggle, helps me take my mind off all the pain I feel every second of every day. I do not post stuff on here for anyone, it's just a place where I can "store" things that give me a chuckle or two. If I find something I think is humorous, and I have an extremely warped sense of humor, it goes on Facebook. Try to imagine, if you will, the things I do not post. Yep. I'm a twisted fuck. I earned every bit of it. BUT! If I have ever offended any of you, I sincerely apologize. That wasn't my intention. Trust me. People have the option to unfollow, ignore, delete, or just roll with it. That choice is yours. I've been "me" for 59+ years. I don't know how to be anyone else, and I do not see any changes looming on the horizon. Y'all have a great day. Peace...

Big hugs & Hot coffee. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

I stole this from someone, I can't remember who it was. They had cool flowers & stuffs before each question, but I don't know how to do that.

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?: Yep
When did your last hug take place?: An hour ago
Are you a jealous person?: Nope
Are you tired right now?: Yep
Do you chew your straws?: Nope
Have you ever been called a tease?: Nope
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?: Yep
Do you cry easily?: Yep
What should you be doing right now?: Sleeping
Are you a heavy sleeper?: Nope
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?: Yep, was married 25+ years
Are you mad at someone right now?: Nope
Do you believe in love?: Absolutely
What makes you laugh no matter what?: Dark, rude, & funny shit
Who was the last person you talked to?: Leigh
Do you get butterflies around the person you like?: Yep
Will you get married?: Nope
Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?: Whatthefuckever, seen it before. No more...
Does anyone like you?: Nope
Do you secretly like someone?: Yep
Who was the first person you talked to today?: Tim
Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?: Not gonna embarrass anyone here, but Yep I do have someone
What are you NOT looking forward to?: The rest of my life
What ARE you looking forward to?: Getting out more often
Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?: Nope
If you saw your crush/gf/bf kissing another person what would you do?: Already have, I walked away. Done with that shit...
Do you plan on moving out within the next year?: Nope
Are you a forgiving person?: Nope
How many TRUE friends do you have?: Not sure
Do you fall for people easily?: Nope
Have you ever fallen for your ex's best friend?: Lmfao...hell Nope
What was the last thing you put your mouth?: Coffee
Who was the last person you drove with?: Hugh
How late did you stay up last night and why?: Haven't been to bed from yesterday yet
If you could move somewhere else, would you?: Can't, so not a big deal
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: Tourists, for a couple
Can you live a day without TV?: Yep, have for a long time
When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?: Earlier today
Three names you go by: Kevin, Russ, Kev, or whatever
Are you currently in a relationship?: Nope
What is your all-time favorite romance movie?: Elizabethtown, A Knight's Tale, or Flashdance...
Who was the last person you hugged?: Leigh
Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?: Nope
What's your current problem?: Health
Have you ever had your heart broken?: Yep
Your thoughts of long distance relationships?: Nope
How many kids do you want to have?: 3
Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?: Yep

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

"Creep", by Radiohead

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I wanna a perfect body
I wanna a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here, oh, oh

She's running out the door
She's running
She run, run, run, run

Run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

Songwriters: Albert Louis Hammond / Michael Edward Hazlewood / Thomas Edward Yorke / Colin Charles Greenwood / Jonathan Richard Guy Greenwood / Edward John O'Brien / Philip James Selway

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

I come on here every single day. I bitch, protest, lament, grumble, snort, whine, bellyache, gripe, complain, worry, beg, piss, moan, scream, borrow, holler, bleat, carp, fret, wheeze, and cuss a little bit. (Maybe a little bit too much! Ha! Sorry!) And, generally, just act like an old man. ("Get off my lawn!") I've been alone every day and every night for so long that I've started talking to myself, and much of the time, myself gets really tired of all the worthless shit that comes out of my brain and mouth. Thus, Facebook. But, if you look very closely, what I've also done, is assemble the very best phone book you could ever hope for. Don't believe me? Fine. If you ever get bored, take a casual stroll through my Friend's & Likes lists and you'll see what I mean. I am very picky concerning both. I don't go wild on here, I have rules that I follow to keep it all small, but mighty. It's all solid rock, with no sand. It's all fresh beef, with no harmful additives. I love Chevrolet automobiles, Tide detergent, & Hoyt Archery equipment, but not so much that my lists get bloated or out of control. You want an awesome tour guide to our little town? I got'em. You want an incredibly talented artist? I got'em. You want a world-class photographer for weddings, prom, seniors, or just some really cool shots of the surrounding area? I got'em. You need a massage, spa package, reflexology, aromatherapy, or energy work, so you feel completely revitalized again? I got'em. You want to get tattooed from head to toe? I got'em. You want a bank that will always treat you like Family? I got'em. You want to go out and listen to some live music that will make you sing along, tap your damn feet, stand up & cheer, or rock your face plumb off? I got'em. (Honestly, I have, bar none, the best vocalists & musicians you could ever even imagine.) You need a fancy party hat, or one you can wear every day of the year? I got'em. You want a courteous, kind, & caring funeral home? I got'em. Are'ya hungry as hell, and want to be served the best food, be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner, known to mankind? I got'em. You want an ice cold beer (Or 12) or a piping hot cup of coffee? I got'em. You need a flower arrangement for that someone so special? I got'em. You need the best DJ that I've ever had the pleasure of watching or hearing? I got'em. Are'ya traveling in from out of town, dead dog tired, and need a clean, comfortable, & cozy place to lay your head, whether it's overnight, through the weekend, or even longer? I got'em. Are'ya in trouble or just need to make sure your final wishes are met, and need an attorney that will treat you the same no matter which side of the law you're on? I got'em. Are'ya not feeling up to snuff and need to see a good doctor? I got'em. Is your computer full of rattlesnakes and you need someone to make it purr like a kitten again? I got'em. You want a show that is so full of mystery & intrigue that it will twist your mind up like a pretzel? I got'em. You want to spend the day on the lake and need a marina that can service all your needs? I got'em. You looking for some beautiful vintage jewelry? I got'em. You need a patch sewn on your favorite leather jacket? I got'em. You need the best Friends on the planet? I got'em. Whatever it is that you are looking for, I probably got'em. Everything here is personally guaranteed, by me. If I didn't love them, they would not be here. I can promise y'uns that...

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

 

"Lucky Strike", by Maroon 5

You're such a motivator, I gotta get you here
So sick of saying yes sir, yes sir
You're such an instigator, you wanna play the game
Take it or leave it, that's her, that's her

And I can't wait another minute
I can't take the look she's giving
You're body rocking, keep me up all night
One in a million, my lucky strike

Got me so high and then she dropped me
But she got me, she got me, she got me bad
Took me inside and then she rocked me
She keep up all night, this is what it sounds like
(Oh) My lucky strike
(Oh) My lucky strike
(Oh) You're body rocking, keep me up all night
(Oh) One in a million, my lucky strike

Stuck in her elevator, she take me to the sky
And I don't wanna go down, go down
She said I'll feel you later, go ahead and fantasize
She'll make me want her right now, right now

And I can't wait another minute
I can't take the look she's giving
You're body rocking, keep me up all night
One in a million, my lucky strike

Got me so high and then she dropped me
But she got me, she got me, she got me bad
Took me inside and then she rocked me
She keep up all night, this is what it sounds like
(Oh) My lucky strike
(Oh) My lucky strike
(Oh) You're body rocking, keep me up all night
(Oh) One in a million, my lucky strike

Hey, you're taking all my pain away
You're shaking like an earthquake
Hey, you're taking all my pain away
You're shaking like an earthquake

Got me so high and then she dropped me
But she got me, she got me, she got me bad
Took me inside and then she rocked me
She keep up all night, this is what it sounds like
(Oh) My lucky strike
(Oh) My lucky strike
(Oh) You're body rocking, keep me up all night
(Oh) One in a million, my lucky strike

My lucky strike, my lucky strike
(Oh) You're body rocking, keep me up all night
(Oh) One in a million

Songwriters: Adam Levine / Noel Patrick Zancanella / Ryan B. Tedder

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

(Best thing I've read in a bit. I didn't get to watch the game,
but the young Man's got some set of balls, that's for sure!)

Patrick Mahomes had been sacked three times and picked twice. His Kansas City offense hadn’t scored a point in over 33 minutes of game time, a couple hours in real time.

He was en route to his worst performance as a professional in his biggest game as a professional, down double digits in the face of a vicious San Francisco defense and a dwindling fourth quarter, Super Bowl clock.

"I was making a lot of mistakes," Mahomes said later.

The Chiefs were getting the ball back though, less than nine minutes to play, on their own 17, maybe last chance, or at least close to it. If there was sagging confidence or growing nerves, Mahomes didn’t show it. Instead he gathered his offense and offered up a prediction.

"They are going to talk about this," he said, "for a long time."

~Dan Wetzel, Yahoo Sports...

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

"Heart of Gold", by Neil Young

I want to live
I want to give
I've been a miner for a heart of gold
It's these expressions
I never give
That keep me searching for a heart of gold

And I'm getting old
Keep me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old

I've been to Hollywood
I've been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind
It's such a fine line
That keeps me searching for a heart of gold

And I'm getting old
Keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old

Keep me searching for a heart of gold
You keep me searching and I'm growing old
I've been a miner for a heart of gold
Keep me searching for a heart of gold

Songwriter: Neil Young

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

What plays at my house:

1. Crazy, by The Next Unknown
2. Carry My Body Down, by Nick 13
3. What's Up, by 4 Non Blondes
4. Ready to Roll, by Jet Black Stare
5. Things That Make You Scream, by Memory of a Melody

(My neighbors listen to some kickass
music whether they want to or not!)

"What's Up?", by 4 Non Blondes

Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What's going on?

And I say, hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah
I said hey, what's going on?

And I say, hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah
I said hey, what's going on?

Oh, oh oh
Oh, oh oh

And I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time, in this institution

And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution

And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What's going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

Oh, oh oh oh

Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

Songwriter: Linda Perry

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

Stew

"Stew"

"Welcome back from the commercial break, brought to you by our sponsor, Assurance Adult Overnight Underwear, whose motto is, So fuckin' stealthy, you'll forget you're even wearin'em!" Cough, bullshit, cough. "Ok, boys & girls, today on "Kevin's Home Cookin' Network", Imma teach y'uns how to make my age-old classic stick-to-your-ribs "Shit Storm Stew", ok? How 'bout it? Mmmmmmm! It do sound utterly de-double-licious, now don't it? Yep it do! Here we go, hang on tight! In a large bowl, mix one peeled micro budget, a giant bag of wild neuropathy, one cup of sun-dried diabetes, four sticks of multiple sclerosis, and one cup of powdered cancer. Stir vigorously. Pour into a large cookin' pot, or smoke some pot, whichever is easier, you know, whatever, and set aside. In a skillet, saute one pound of trimmed & cubed bad luck, cook over medium-high heat, scraping the pan with a wooden spoon to loosen any browned bits. Disgustin'. Absolutely disgustin'. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a slow simmer, skimming broth from time to time, until the bad luck is tender to your likin'. When done, fold into other mixture, and add approx. two gallons of red wine (To you, silly, not the food! Ewww!), then place in a pre-heated oven. Cover & cook at 5,000 degrees for a tad over 16 years, Remove from oven, and allow to cool. You're rarin' to chow, right now, huh? Well, hold yer horses & wait jus' a sec, we're 'bout there. Garnish with fresh from the gutter strokes. Season with very low soduim, pain, loneliness, and really anything else you have layin' around, to taste. Ladle among four bowls & serve. Serves one, for four days. If it's a bit dry, try addin' some of your leftover broth, or, as I'm often told, just fuckin' deal with it! Ha! There'ya go! Easy, ain't it? It'll be scrumpt-dilly-ious! Bon appetit & salud! So, 'til next week, I'm your host, Kevin, sayin' good night & God bless. Y'all take care. Remember, when life gives'ya the big ol' screw, ya might as well jus' relax & enjoy it! Goodnight, ev'rybody! Cameras, fade to black. Cut the mics." Somebody just shoot me now, please...

Big hugs & Hot coffee mugs. Kevin aka "Tattoo"

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