babyjuggalette aka fallen angel's blog: "Just Random Thoughts...."

finally life is starting to go my way. ive got a wonderful, a job, a loving family, and awesome friends. where was all this at in the past? eh that dont matter now. all that matters now is the present and the future and i hope all these great people will still be there for me in the future just like they r now.

hey i just wanted everyone to know bout a noobie. his name is godz45 and not only is he lookin for the same as everyone else he is also looking for love. so if yaw could make him feel at home...

i have finally gotten just bout everything back to normal. ive got a great job, finally my own place for the first time, a wonderful, wonderful man that means the world to me, and im bout to have my college classes starting soon. it feels great having all that other shit off my chest and starting new. i thought i had seriously fucked my life up beyond repair cause of choices i have made the last 5 years but then i had a friend sit down and talk to me bout everything i needed to change and she helped me get there. 2 days after i got this job i got an apartment. its great. now i can do ne damn thing i want to now. as soon as i get my comp and internet i will be able to start my college classes and get my business degree and by the time i get my degree i will be gettin married and then im opening up my restuarant. i cant wait. im just greatly releived that everything has started turning round for me cause if it hadnt of at the rate i was goin, i was probly goin to end up in a gutter dead somewhere. but i thank my wonderful boyfriend blake for supporting me the whole thru and my best friend helping me acomplish what i havent been able to do in the past 5 years....

well ever since i left my job at pizza hut a couple of weeks ago ive had alot on my mind. a 2 weeks before i quit i had my miscarriage and ive been depressed from it and now im on hormones and it makes it worse. and ever since i started the hormones ive been really moody and irritable and depressed cause all im able to do at the moment is think bout everything goin on. its horrible. but if its the price i have to pay to be able to have a child then im willing to do it. and i have to start goin to mental health for it all. but this guy has taken me out a few times is behind me all the way. at least i have that much. but ive gotten to the point to where i dont care bout nething ne more. and that just aint me. last nite i had an old friend tell me that im nothin like i used to be. i might still have some of my willpower but ive lost some of it and everything else. and ive realized that and i hate it. i used to be a strong independant woman and now here i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. hell i dont know what to do.

im losin my fuckin mind. between 2 jobs, a stalker, and very few hours at work i dont know what the hell im goin to do. ive moved out of town so no one can fuckin find me. i hate havin to do that but at his point i have no choice. then i have someone watchin my every move. the only thing they havent found out is where im living. and i fuckin dare them to even attempt that. if they show up here they will be comin to a rude awakening. im gettin to the point to where i cant take much more and probly bout to move out state permantly. this time i have alot more to look forward to.

well single again. y cant i find someone decent. someone that shows me they care and with respect. i was supposed to have gotten married then he ruined that one. then i thought i had met a nice charming and carin person then he pissed me off when he told a friend of my he wanted to be with me and then goes around and ends up with someone else. so now all i do is work and hang with my friends and sleep. its gettin old and its gettin on my nerves. im so tired of games. i dont know how much more i can take.

im so stressed out right now that im depressed. ive gotten to the point to where i just want to give up everything i do. work stresses me out, my personal life seems so fucked up right now. it feels like the world is just crashing down round me and i will be nothing when its done. its horrible. my family seems like they r against me on everything i do. lately i havent been able to really talk to ne one bout it. i dont know what to do. im losin it. it feels like every one is judging me but i dont know what for. there is only a couple of friends i see but i feel wierd just expressing my feelings to them. i dont know why cause i know i can talk to them bout ne thing. well im off to bed.

im finally home. i was in the hospital for a couple of days and i havent been so happy to see my house. i have 3 abcesses on my back and they had to cut and drain one of them. now a have a 2 inch deep hole in my back and ive never been in so much pain. but i will live. i have to go to work today so later everyone.

hey i just wanted to let everyone know bout my new lounge and i would love if yaw all came and joined!!!!! Its Babyjuggalette's Bar and Grill. Hope u come and enjoy!!!